Suara Kodok dan Lampu Jalan

Sudah lama sekali rasanya tidak melihat tampilan blogspot. Kadang malu juga sih, isi blog yang ini semua curhatan, dan jika menilik lagi tagline saya "A story worth sharing", saya sebagai pembaca merasa tidak semua tulisan saya worth reading. Alasan saya membuka blogspot adalah karena saya barusan blogwalking ke jurnalnya Eka Kurniawan, dan berpikir, wah ini mirip punya saya yang dulu. Meskipun yahh.. isinya tidak sebagus dan sekritis tulisan dia.

Kemarin saya baru dari Pandaan. Saya dan seorang teman harus mengurus tugas praktek kerja di sana. Selama perjalanan hujan turun dengan riteme yang tidak seragam. Keras, pelan, keras lagi, berhenti, gerimis lagi, dan begitu seterusnya.
Sorenya, saya dan teman saya mampir ke kediamannya di pandaan. Suasananya nyaman sekali. Rasanya menyenangkan juga bisa jauh dari daerah saya sendiri. Rasanya seperti di desa, lengkap dengan bau tanah dan hujan. Padahal Pandaan dan Surabaya bisa ditempuh selama 1-2 jam dengan mobil. Saat kami hendak pulang, mendadak teman saya bilang, "Dengar itu, itu suara kodok,"
Dan entah kenapa, saya jadi sangat senang. Wah, saya pernah dengar suara kodok sungguhan!
Senangnya bukan main. Saya jadi ingat, dulu waktu saya kecil, yang saya inginkan sangat sederhana, misalnya melihat pelangi, melihat kepompong, kalau boleh menyaksikan proses dia menjadi kupu-kupu. Waktu kecil, saya suka melihat cicak. Saya juga ingin mendengar suara kepak sayap kupu-kupu.

Suara kodok itu membuat saya berpikir bahwa, banyak hal-hal di dunia ini yang melebihi samsung galaxy dan iphone5s. Suara kodok itu mengingatkan saya bahwa untuk merasa bahagia, hal-hal paling sederhana itu saja yang dibutuhkan.

Malam ini saya pulang diiringi lantunan suara banyak penyanyi luar negeri yang menyanyikan lagu-lagu natal. Saya rasa itu efek lagu natal yang lembut di telinga, jadi papan yang bisa menyala dengan tulisan "GUNAKAN SABUK PENGAMAN ANDA" saja bisa terlihat indah! Sungguh, ini antara saya yang alay atau memang begitu. Lampu jalan yang awalnya biasa-biasa itu, terlihat indah karena saya melihatnya sambil diiringi lagu natal yang syahdu.

Kembali lagi, lampu jalan itu mengingatkan saya bahwa hal-hal kecil itu, jika dilihat dari sudut yang tepat dapat membuat kita berbahagia.
Pertanyaannya adalah, dimanakah kamu berdiri? :)

Cheesy songs and fully loaded mind

Wonder how easy it is to write on blog and how hard it is to put all the scene in my mind and sew it into a story.
Here i am, wandering online in the morning dew. Look how cheesy this sounds!
Anyway, I was writing and then all the scene that has been built up a second a go came to a blur. Think i need to get some rest. Then i decided to follow some editor, and found 7 new request on my twitter.
Hahaha-me, being an evil witch as I used to be, shocked that someone followed me.
Yeaa someone.
Another cheesy line.
I scrolled down her tweets and suddenly feel sorry for her.
And a rush of guilt running through my vein.
Suddenly i become an angel.
But then.
I said to myself, what did i do wrong? I did not make her cry.
The the scene from the hospital came along-again.
Then my friend texted me-again.

And then, i start to pen this blog and try to pour down this thoughts-which isn't much.
Haha.

Happy Valentine

Someone said, once a year, we get a chance to be cheesy.
A lot of couples are spending the night with their partners, and a lot of singles will again gather together with their other single friends, talking about how good life is, and how much they've changed.
Many woman will expect gifts, chocolate, flowers, stuffed animals.
They expect a romantic dinner at the most expensive place in town.
But the essence of love isn't just that.
I'm not gonna deny that I love it when my loved ones do something "more" for me.
But it's not only judged that day.
It goes all the way, in everything he does.
Valentine's just a sparkle.
You don't just show your all today. You show your whole heart, you prove your all.
Cheesy huh? I told you so.
Once a year we get a chance to be cheesy.
Happy valentine to all of you :)

What on earth are you doing?

I was on my way home when I saw someone fishing in a rotten river. The water was brown and there's no sign of life. There never was.
I was thinking "What on earth are you doing with your life?"
And then out of nowhere, a thought pops up in my head.
Maybe to him, there is hope. Maybe he believes enough in it. It's like what everyone else is doing. It's like what you are doing. People doubt you.
They asked about what on earth you are doing, they tell you how your life's supposed to be. Everyone will try to control your life. Like what I just did, even if it's just on my mind.
But we do not have the right to judge, dear. We don't have the right to doubt people. We don't even have the right to put them down by saying anything, even if you think it's good for them. You just have no right. For everyone is born with our own wildest dreams, that maybe no one will ever believe it. Maybe no one believes that you'll get there.
But you have one person. That oneperson who believes in you. And I'm sure you just need that one.
So who's that? I'm not talking about your life partner or whatever. It's YOU!!
Yes it's you! Your greatest asset is you.
Keep in mind that you can, because you are the pilot of your life. Time flies, but again, the pilot is you.
So decide now. Whether you'll be sorry, be afraid to take off, or you'll be brave to take off even if you have no idea how big the storm is.
It's on you. My suggestion is, be brave.
Take chance and get out of the storm as a winner!

Your Ideal Things

Everybody has a standards on everything. How they would like to be judged, what kind of book they are outside, what color defines them, and the kind of book they want to buy, read, and re-read it over and over again. It is called the ideal things.
We all have it. And the things that we pay attention the most is our ideal things about our lover. Who we want him to be. How we want him to treat us. And many other things.
People said, well, girls said, it is hard to be a girl. You give too much and you get your heart broken, and this and that.
Well, think again.
Which one is harder, being a girl, or being a boy?
A boy is judged by how he treats his girl, he is judged by everything. Someone said, if you find a guy who pauses his video games to text you back, marry him. Isn't it such a low standards for us to marry someone? Do you know that you worth more than just pausing a video games?
That puts a boy, to a unacceptable standards. The society taught him to do that.
Every broken girl blame someone, a boy from their past that did her wrong, and make her strong.
But if a boy is broken, nobody cares! Dude, grow up, you're supposed to be strong.
It isn't fair, is it?
Your ideal things, is it fair?
Who are you to judge?
There's a quote, a lot of quotes, that confused every boy's mind. Life puts them in a road with so many branch. Be a gentleman, be the guy who pays for everything, be the guy who loves to bring flowers.
So what is your ideal man?
Does he exist?
Or is it merely your over-thinking stuffs, creating your kind of prince charming?
I'm not telling you that he doesn't exist. He does.
It's just, you should remember that to get yourself a prince, you should be a princess.

The way we love

Being a daughter or a son, we are taught by our parents. How we should tie our own shoes, button up our shiny shirt, respecting the elders, and a lot of things.
Being one of a class member, we are taught by the community, how we should react when someone teases you, how to not yell and panicking when you lost your favorite pen, how to be a good friend, and again, a lot of things.
Being a girl is another thing.
We are often get too caught up with prince charming and fairytale stuffs.
We place ourselves as such a lady in waiting. We place ourselves as the sleeping beauty, waiting for our princes to kiss us, and get us to such a beautiful fairytale.
And then, reality strikes.
We have our first heart break. Second heart break.
Enough heart breaks that make us raise our standards on men, enough tears that makes us strong, enough sleepless nights to mourn about how things should be that make us stand in our own feet, and have our own life.
And now, you're another person.
You're no longer a  girl who believes everything. You are strong. You are mature. You conquer your own self, and be the lady you want to.
And then God finally sees that you need someone, so He delivers you this man, whom He has trusted the key of your heart, to you.
As a girl, a lady, mother and father taught us to hold back all the love that we had.
They said, you're not his wife yet. You should not concern about his happiness.
Why would you stay, look at his flaws!
He doesn't have what it takes to make you happy, dear.
As a girl, we were taught to be selfish in love.
The parents, the community.
The guy should pay for your lunch, dinner. He's your lover, not your father.
The guy should buy you flowers whenever you're sad. He's your lover, not a florist.
The guy should be able to read your mind. He's no mind reader!
The guy should provide you cookies and cream gelato whenever you want it. He's not a grocery store.
The guy should do everything. Once again, he's your lover. Not your driver, not your credit card.
Well, who decides what's right?
So what if we share to pay our lunch?
Or what if we, girls, want to do more for the one we love?
Too many times, we lose who we are.
We forget how to love.
His car doesn't meet my mother's criteria, someone said.
Mother said it's not the ethics for me to take care of him when he's sick.
Father said it's not good if he and i meet too often. We may get bored.
So, who knows what's best?

Keeping The Faith Alive

This afternoon I got to an argument with my boyfriend because we're having some time issue. Exams week is now here and we can't see each other as much as we want to.
Okay, let's now come to a whole different story. I was in a fellowship of my ministry. A Christmas fellowship. And there my life has been recovered, God has touched my heart, again.
You might want to ask about connection between the title, my boyfriend and my Christmas fellowship. I suddenly thought, what if God said "dear, I love you. But I can not always be with you, take care,okay?"
I think that feeling is similar with being apart from my boyfriend, you'll somehow feel lonely. It is easy to be faithful if he is near and he can always be there. It is easy to be faith ful when you get to see him as much as you want, and when he stays sweet. But what if he's in aland far away to achieve his dreams? What if he can't contact you as much as you want him to?
Same thing happen with our relationship with God. It's easy to believe in Him, to trust Him when the water's quiet and there's no wind. It's easy to believe in His power and mercy when you can feel His hand holding yours. When He can always answer you. But what if the water's get rough and the wind blows hard. You reach out for His hand and He doesn't seem to be there? You shout "Lord where are You?" ad there's no response. Can you still say "I believe"? Can you be faithful with putting all your fears in His feet?
I failed once in this test. I went on my own, felt like I can make it alone. But we can't.
We often cheat over Him by holding on to something else. Like ourselves. We hold on to our own understanding and pride.
It is about keeping the faith alive, even when you can't feel Him. The key is to just believe. Believe that deep down, you know He's watching over you. Be like, who? I forgot. One of the disciples of Jesus who sang praises when Mary told them that Jesus is alive. Just believe.
Have a blessed final exam week guys!