Suara Kodok dan Lampu Jalan

Sudah lama sekali rasanya tidak melihat tampilan blogspot. Kadang malu juga sih, isi blog yang ini semua curhatan, dan jika menilik lagi tagline saya "A story worth sharing", saya sebagai pembaca merasa tidak semua tulisan saya worth reading. Alasan saya membuka blogspot adalah karena saya barusan blogwalking ke jurnalnya Eka Kurniawan, dan berpikir, wah ini mirip punya saya yang dulu. Meskipun yahh.. isinya tidak sebagus dan sekritis tulisan dia.

Kemarin saya baru dari Pandaan. Saya dan seorang teman harus mengurus tugas praktek kerja di sana. Selama perjalanan hujan turun dengan riteme yang tidak seragam. Keras, pelan, keras lagi, berhenti, gerimis lagi, dan begitu seterusnya.
Sorenya, saya dan teman saya mampir ke kediamannya di pandaan. Suasananya nyaman sekali. Rasanya menyenangkan juga bisa jauh dari daerah saya sendiri. Rasanya seperti di desa, lengkap dengan bau tanah dan hujan. Padahal Pandaan dan Surabaya bisa ditempuh selama 1-2 jam dengan mobil. Saat kami hendak pulang, mendadak teman saya bilang, "Dengar itu, itu suara kodok,"
Dan entah kenapa, saya jadi sangat senang. Wah, saya pernah dengar suara kodok sungguhan!
Senangnya bukan main. Saya jadi ingat, dulu waktu saya kecil, yang saya inginkan sangat sederhana, misalnya melihat pelangi, melihat kepompong, kalau boleh menyaksikan proses dia menjadi kupu-kupu. Waktu kecil, saya suka melihat cicak. Saya juga ingin mendengar suara kepak sayap kupu-kupu.

Suara kodok itu membuat saya berpikir bahwa, banyak hal-hal di dunia ini yang melebihi samsung galaxy dan iphone5s. Suara kodok itu mengingatkan saya bahwa untuk merasa bahagia, hal-hal paling sederhana itu saja yang dibutuhkan.

Malam ini saya pulang diiringi lantunan suara banyak penyanyi luar negeri yang menyanyikan lagu-lagu natal. Saya rasa itu efek lagu natal yang lembut di telinga, jadi papan yang bisa menyala dengan tulisan "GUNAKAN SABUK PENGAMAN ANDA" saja bisa terlihat indah! Sungguh, ini antara saya yang alay atau memang begitu. Lampu jalan yang awalnya biasa-biasa itu, terlihat indah karena saya melihatnya sambil diiringi lagu natal yang syahdu.

Kembali lagi, lampu jalan itu mengingatkan saya bahwa hal-hal kecil itu, jika dilihat dari sudut yang tepat dapat membuat kita berbahagia.
Pertanyaannya adalah, dimanakah kamu berdiri? :)

Cheesy songs and fully loaded mind

Wonder how easy it is to write on blog and how hard it is to put all the scene in my mind and sew it into a story.
Here i am, wandering online in the morning dew. Look how cheesy this sounds!
Anyway, I was writing and then all the scene that has been built up a second a go came to a blur. Think i need to get some rest. Then i decided to follow some editor, and found 7 new request on my twitter.
Hahaha-me, being an evil witch as I used to be, shocked that someone followed me.
Yeaa someone.
Another cheesy line.
I scrolled down her tweets and suddenly feel sorry for her.
And a rush of guilt running through my vein.
Suddenly i become an angel.
But then.
I said to myself, what did i do wrong? I did not make her cry.
The the scene from the hospital came along-again.
Then my friend texted me-again.

And then, i start to pen this blog and try to pour down this thoughts-which isn't much.
Haha.

Happy Valentine

Someone said, once a year, we get a chance to be cheesy.
A lot of couples are spending the night with their partners, and a lot of singles will again gather together with their other single friends, talking about how good life is, and how much they've changed.
Many woman will expect gifts, chocolate, flowers, stuffed animals.
They expect a romantic dinner at the most expensive place in town.
But the essence of love isn't just that.
I'm not gonna deny that I love it when my loved ones do something "more" for me.
But it's not only judged that day.
It goes all the way, in everything he does.
Valentine's just a sparkle.
You don't just show your all today. You show your whole heart, you prove your all.
Cheesy huh? I told you so.
Once a year we get a chance to be cheesy.
Happy valentine to all of you :)

What on earth are you doing?

I was on my way home when I saw someone fishing in a rotten river. The water was brown and there's no sign of life. There never was.
I was thinking "What on earth are you doing with your life?"
And then out of nowhere, a thought pops up in my head.
Maybe to him, there is hope. Maybe he believes enough in it. It's like what everyone else is doing. It's like what you are doing. People doubt you.
They asked about what on earth you are doing, they tell you how your life's supposed to be. Everyone will try to control your life. Like what I just did, even if it's just on my mind.
But we do not have the right to judge, dear. We don't have the right to doubt people. We don't even have the right to put them down by saying anything, even if you think it's good for them. You just have no right. For everyone is born with our own wildest dreams, that maybe no one will ever believe it. Maybe no one believes that you'll get there.
But you have one person. That oneperson who believes in you. And I'm sure you just need that one.
So who's that? I'm not talking about your life partner or whatever. It's YOU!!
Yes it's you! Your greatest asset is you.
Keep in mind that you can, because you are the pilot of your life. Time flies, but again, the pilot is you.
So decide now. Whether you'll be sorry, be afraid to take off, or you'll be brave to take off even if you have no idea how big the storm is.
It's on you. My suggestion is, be brave.
Take chance and get out of the storm as a winner!

Your Ideal Things

Everybody has a standards on everything. How they would like to be judged, what kind of book they are outside, what color defines them, and the kind of book they want to buy, read, and re-read it over and over again. It is called the ideal things.
We all have it. And the things that we pay attention the most is our ideal things about our lover. Who we want him to be. How we want him to treat us. And many other things.
People said, well, girls said, it is hard to be a girl. You give too much and you get your heart broken, and this and that.
Well, think again.
Which one is harder, being a girl, or being a boy?
A boy is judged by how he treats his girl, he is judged by everything. Someone said, if you find a guy who pauses his video games to text you back, marry him. Isn't it such a low standards for us to marry someone? Do you know that you worth more than just pausing a video games?
That puts a boy, to a unacceptable standards. The society taught him to do that.
Every broken girl blame someone, a boy from their past that did her wrong, and make her strong.
But if a boy is broken, nobody cares! Dude, grow up, you're supposed to be strong.
It isn't fair, is it?
Your ideal things, is it fair?
Who are you to judge?
There's a quote, a lot of quotes, that confused every boy's mind. Life puts them in a road with so many branch. Be a gentleman, be the guy who pays for everything, be the guy who loves to bring flowers.
So what is your ideal man?
Does he exist?
Or is it merely your over-thinking stuffs, creating your kind of prince charming?
I'm not telling you that he doesn't exist. He does.
It's just, you should remember that to get yourself a prince, you should be a princess.

The way we love

Being a daughter or a son, we are taught by our parents. How we should tie our own shoes, button up our shiny shirt, respecting the elders, and a lot of things.
Being one of a class member, we are taught by the community, how we should react when someone teases you, how to not yell and panicking when you lost your favorite pen, how to be a good friend, and again, a lot of things.
Being a girl is another thing.
We are often get too caught up with prince charming and fairytale stuffs.
We place ourselves as such a lady in waiting. We place ourselves as the sleeping beauty, waiting for our princes to kiss us, and get us to such a beautiful fairytale.
And then, reality strikes.
We have our first heart break. Second heart break.
Enough heart breaks that make us raise our standards on men, enough tears that makes us strong, enough sleepless nights to mourn about how things should be that make us stand in our own feet, and have our own life.
And now, you're another person.
You're no longer a  girl who believes everything. You are strong. You are mature. You conquer your own self, and be the lady you want to.
And then God finally sees that you need someone, so He delivers you this man, whom He has trusted the key of your heart, to you.
As a girl, a lady, mother and father taught us to hold back all the love that we had.
They said, you're not his wife yet. You should not concern about his happiness.
Why would you stay, look at his flaws!
He doesn't have what it takes to make you happy, dear.
As a girl, we were taught to be selfish in love.
The parents, the community.
The guy should pay for your lunch, dinner. He's your lover, not your father.
The guy should buy you flowers whenever you're sad. He's your lover, not a florist.
The guy should be able to read your mind. He's no mind reader!
The guy should provide you cookies and cream gelato whenever you want it. He's not a grocery store.
The guy should do everything. Once again, he's your lover. Not your driver, not your credit card.
Well, who decides what's right?
So what if we share to pay our lunch?
Or what if we, girls, want to do more for the one we love?
Too many times, we lose who we are.
We forget how to love.
His car doesn't meet my mother's criteria, someone said.
Mother said it's not the ethics for me to take care of him when he's sick.
Father said it's not good if he and i meet too often. We may get bored.
So, who knows what's best?

Keeping The Faith Alive

This afternoon I got to an argument with my boyfriend because we're having some time issue. Exams week is now here and we can't see each other as much as we want to.
Okay, let's now come to a whole different story. I was in a fellowship of my ministry. A Christmas fellowship. And there my life has been recovered, God has touched my heart, again.
You might want to ask about connection between the title, my boyfriend and my Christmas fellowship. I suddenly thought, what if God said "dear, I love you. But I can not always be with you, take care,okay?"
I think that feeling is similar with being apart from my boyfriend, you'll somehow feel lonely. It is easy to be faithful if he is near and he can always be there. It is easy to be faith ful when you get to see him as much as you want, and when he stays sweet. But what if he's in aland far away to achieve his dreams? What if he can't contact you as much as you want him to?
Same thing happen with our relationship with God. It's easy to believe in Him, to trust Him when the water's quiet and there's no wind. It's easy to believe in His power and mercy when you can feel His hand holding yours. When He can always answer you. But what if the water's get rough and the wind blows hard. You reach out for His hand and He doesn't seem to be there? You shout "Lord where are You?" ad there's no response. Can you still say "I believe"? Can you be faithful with putting all your fears in His feet?
I failed once in this test. I went on my own, felt like I can make it alone. But we can't.
We often cheat over Him by holding on to something else. Like ourselves. We hold on to our own understanding and pride.
It is about keeping the faith alive, even when you can't feel Him. The key is to just believe. Believe that deep down, you know He's watching over you. Be like, who? I forgot. One of the disciples of Jesus who sang praises when Mary told them that Jesus is alive. Just believe.
Have a blessed final exam week guys!

Mary and Martha

In Christian Bible, there's this story about Mary and Martha.
One day, Jesus is about to come to their house.
So Martha, being a good host, she was busy preparing for the Master's coming.
She prepared dishes and else.
Mary did nothing.
When Jesus finally came, Mary was there listening to Him.
But Martha was still busy with her own preparation.
She forgets what He really wants, what Jesus wants is for her to be there, sit down and listen.
Often we are being Martha, busy.
We prepare for His coming and then we come to a point when we suddenly forget why we do that in the first place.
We forget about Him because we are being too busy with the preparation.
What He really wants in for us to sit down in silent, being there with Him.
We  do this and that, running here and there.
Trying to please Him with all the foods and drinks we've been preparing.
Trying to make Him the best seat, and then we forget to sit there with Him.

This also happened to me.
I've been being Martha for too long.
I'm preparing the dishes, making a comfortable seats, I'm preparing for the red carpet.
And it somehow changes my focus. The longer I do this, the more I do it for my own pleasures.
I have to stop and be Mary.
I miss His presence and words.
As I prepared for His coming, I did not even realize that He's already here!
To Him, everything I've been preparing don't matter as much as me to just spend my time with Him.
What matters to Him most is us.
So dear Martha, whoever reading this blog. You don't do anything wrong.
But take time to breathe and come to His presence, He misses you.
Have a blessed weekend~

Little thought in the middle of the day

Do you know how it feels to miss someone so much, but you can not do anything about it? How you remember how he used to be to you, and how you remember how much he loved you. To be honest, I don't.
But I'm trying to understand the sparks in her eyes.
I try to understand that feeling, loving someone who used to love you.
I try to understand how it feels to have nowhere to go, stuck in the corner,
I try to understand how bad you miss someone, but you're not able to say it.
That hurts, a lot.
Sometimes, people make mistakes.
You'll never know what you got until you lose it.
Sometimes, everything is just too late. You feel like if only.
And maybe, that's the only thing you can do.
Some people need a lesson :)

Inhibitor

So you and him work like an enzyme. You feel like you both are meant to be together, and you fit for each other.
To you, there will be no one else that would understand you like he does.
And just like enzyme and its substrate, you both work specifically and effectively, creating days full of love.
But enzyme-substrate relationship doesn't go that smooth.
There's this thingy called inhibitor. It has several ways to work in e-s relationship. Inhibitor can takes over substrate's place, or silently 'flirt' with the enzyme and change the active side of the enzyme, and then the substrate will be left alone.
Similar thing happens in a relationship.
But we are neither enzyme or substrate. We can decide whether we want to be interfered with the inhibitor or not.

Sometimes, or in my case,most of the time, the inhibitor is the past. No matter how much I believe that the past stays in the past. It knocks me down.
It pushes me to the deepest corner, and I can't fight back.
It feels like something great is tearing me down, and there I am, left, all alone.
And to be honest, when you love someone, you'll be surprised at how much you are willing to give to that person.
You'll be surprised that you are somehow afraid of losing him, eve though you know that he's not going anywhere.
This inhibitor, is maybe the worst enemy in a relationship.
When you overcome this, you'll be free.
Yes, sometimes you have to be much stronger than you've ever been.

quote "I don't want to leave" unquote

In a relationship, there comes a time when you somehow doubt your partner and the future of both of you.
Time when words aren't enough to describe how you feel,  when you just can't understand why your partner is making you sad.
You think, and think, and think.
And then there's this question
"what if we have to say good bye?"
I wasn't surprised. But still, that thing scares me.
I have been asking this question to God. And I come to a request, sort of a demand.. that if we have to say good bye. Don't break his heart. Break mine.
And so I said, "I'll let you go"
Then there was a long pause.
He answered "I don't want to leave"
Speechless. I try to tell him that if being with me doesn't make him happy, he can leave. It's his right.
I have made a lot pf problems.
In fact, most of our fight are about my schedule. LOL.
But yet he said "I don't want to leave"
Love means sacrifice.
At first I don't understand what's the meaning of it,
but now.. I think I do.
The wind blows hard, the water gets rough.
Yes, we are tired with all those arguments,
yet, we don't want to leave.
I choose to stay.

Dreams are coming true!

And here goes a fact no one is certain about...
Dreams that actually come true.
Just now I contacted someone I barely know online. He and I shared the same dream, he, and I and many other people I never met before, but connected by our similarities.
We love to write, and we make critics to each other's writing.
Who knows that one day, one of us will have his book published?
Life is full of surprises.
As I read his blog : http://alvi-syahrin.blogspot.com/

I realize that it's a long road to a fulfilled dream.
It means thousands of sleepless night and thousands of hard work, sometimes a despair and some critics.
Remember a phrase said "We're dealing with the same hell, just different devil" ?
He said that he ever thought of giving up. But life is a challenge.
And he face it well knowing that his book will be published soon!
Life is indeed a challenge.
We wanted to give up, I wanted to just give it up. I wanted to leave everything behind and maybe start a new thing.
But this is your battle. And we don't quit, we fight.
It's not as easy.
Along the way you'll find someone who'll lend a shoulder to cry on and say some comforting words.
Or someone who will criticize you and tell you to face your own giants.
Either way, this someone usually the same someone, who gives you strength and support, and an endless hugs and love.
Sometimes you just need to say to yourself that you are stronger than you believe you are.
You are tough.
But there will also be times when everything seems to break down and you cannot see or reach for the light anymore. 
Cry, cry a lot.
And when you're done, face it.
Because dreams are coming true. My friend is a proof of that!
It is not cliche and it is real!
Pray, nothing can be done without His presence.
Believe yourself, you are capable.
And work hard enough to make destiny knows that you deserve the sunlight. 

In-control? Under-control?

God has an amazing way in answering my prayer.
Since then and until now, He always have some weird methods to answer everything I doubt in my life.
And I don't have to wait.
He does it in an instant.
The analogy is like this : when I ask Him, "God, I really really want a book, please give me one, amen"
And pop, the next day someone will buy me one out of nothing.
It's true and this similar things happens a lot.
And this makes me wonder, should I be in control of every aspect in my life>
Should I mention every detail I want in my life and future, when or when I will meet someone who makes a big impact of my life? Should I request Him the future I would like to have and how I want to get there?
Sometimes I feel like I don't believe Him enough, and he's just "well, have it you way dear, and see what happens next,"
There was a time when I asked for something and when He fulfilled my wish, things turns to be a mess. And I break down. But until then, I still can't leave things in His hands.
I don't have the courage to say "Surprise me, Lord. My life is in Your hand and You are the driver, I will now enjoy my ride,"
I still want to be in control of everything.
I even mention the detail to Him, how, when, where, I would meet my true love. And I did wrote it down. His age, weight, height, everything.

But then I realize, that I should give everything under His control.
What's best come from His hands.
It's time to sit still and relax for a bit.
It's time to inhale deeply and say "God, I leave things to You"
I admire people who can do this. That they face every trouble with a light heart and forgive people quickly.
People who don't over analyze thing, people who have enough faith to be under His control.
Sometimes life stressed you out, and force you to be on your worst any day.
Sometimes, to be in-control of your life means to have a day when it all fall down.
Your strength, you self-defense, and you cry.
Maybe it is good. Sometimes.
But not every time, it makes you a drama queen.
Let it out, cry hard, but then forgive, forget, move on, and finally, leave it to His hand.
He will takes care of you, and He will guide you.
Be in control of your own emotion, your own heart, and then be under His control, leave things in His hand, it's best to let Him decide what's best for you.
Thanks for reading. Be blessed.

How many chances do you want?

This title resembles what we're dealing with in real life.
How many chances do you want?
One?
You want it so bad, one chance isn't enough.
Three?
Oh, you don't believe yourself, do you?
Sometimes you're running out of chances before you even realize it.
Sometimes you don't feel like giving your best before you are put into a situation in which you are in control, and every move you make is being judged.
And there are times when you feel like you've given your best, but still none appreciate it.
Well, life's like this. Get used to it.
You wonder and wonder, when will I get the chance like everyone else?
You wonder too much that it pass you by without you even notice.
Or, you focus way too much on what is ahead you instead of giving the best for now, and again, that chance pass you by on your notice.
Someone once say "you have to exceeds people's expectation,"
And I learn that, to exceed people's expectation, the first thing you must do is believe in yourself.
If you don't, who will?
I often find myself doubting me.
Lots of what ifs, have i done the right thing?
Lots of insecure feelings.
Lack of experience that I'm afraid of my own error.
But hey! You don't get that many chance!
You have to work on yourself, make yourself seen, heard, known of your intelligence and ability.
I know, I make it look easy, while in fact, this has been the hardest thing I ever face in my life til now.
I have pushed to the point when I have to ask, how many chance do I have left?
In real life, things don't always go this way.
The way I see it, when you're young, you get lots of chance, to swim new river, or climb more mountains.
And as time goes by, life that gets in the way, your chance to explore the world is not much.
While you're young, learn a lot, learn new language, be in a competition, do everything that raises your self esteem, anything that gives you a positive affect on your future and to the people around you.
Make your parents proud. That one day you'll look backward and regret nothing.
How many chances do you want?
This is the question you should ask to yourself.
In the end, it all come back to you.

We've come this far!

This evening my blackberry, my lovely blackberry went dead. And I was like Oh my God, what should I do.
Left with a straight face upon my facial expression.
I was forced to use my old and almost useless cellphone.
Oh come on! it's not even qwerty!
But then, this turns out to be mercy in disguise.
I was bored that I decided to re-read every old conversation in that old ugly cellphone.
And out of sudden, between each messages, I realized.
I grow up, I've come this far.
I re-read lots of old messages from those who have gone overseas, who has changed their city. And I have some kind of emotion that's just .... in-explainable.
We made some promises, some have such a deep meaning, and some, well some made me laugh out loud.
It was the point of silliness. Having no idea at all about what we should do in life.
Back then, when we graduated from high school, we have so many dreams, so many plans.
Now, I'm seeing the dreams coming true and the plans turns alive.
So many feeling, emotion, rush into my vein.
Things change, my point of view changed, and the people I'm hanging around with, also change.
Even that special person we used to have, changed.
But I'm proud of us.
The people I used to see everyday.
Things change, but we don't.
Looking back, I regret nothing.
I am blessed, beyond what I deserved.

Beauty fades

I once read an article, a nice heartwarming story about a girl, who's not so good in her studies. She's an average, no matter what lessons are taught, she's never go higher than B+.
B+ is good, but still it's not straight A!
Even her parents wonder why. And if there ever comes a day when their daughter got an A, one single A, well, they will throw a party to celebrate that.
But that day isn't coming.
And they gave up.
Once, they asked their daughter, what does she wants herself to be in the future.
They expect an extraordinary answer from her, but again, the unexpected happened.
"Well, I want to get married, and be a loving wife and caring mother, and maybe I want to be a preschool teacher,"
The parents stood in silent.
And at this point I think, o my, she's so ordinary! But the story isn't over, you have to take a look on the other side.
One day, the parents got a call from her high school teacher.
The teacher said that this girl, from time to time is an average student. She can't go higher, and even if she tried, the results is still B+.
Well that's bad, the parents thought.
But,
yes, there is a but that changes this whole average and ordinary girl.
"I once asked each one of the student in this class, if you have to pick one of your classmate, who would you pick? And amazingly, almost everybody chose your daughter. And there's another question, why would you choose that person? The answers are outstanding. They say that she's kind, and cheerful, she helps without thinking of herself. She smiles a lot, and on, and on,"
The parents then going home with a lot of thought in their head.
What does a report card full of straight A mean, if she's not an excellent person in life?
It's not how good you sing, how great your dancing is, how fluent you are in English, Chinese, or whatever.
How you react to things determines mostly who you are.
So if one day you become great, please remember who you were before this.
What is a pretty face without a pretty heart?
Who do you want to be with? A beautiful lady that is full of anger and self-pity, or an average girl who listen to your greatest despair and face them with you?
You choose.
Beauty fades, character remains.

Age is (not) just a number

To all couples who believes that age is just a number, congratulation.
It is a nice thing to know that love works through all circumstances.
But age works the opposite way in real life.
In your career, your way reaching your dreams, age is not just a number.
It is one of the indicator of success.
There are 2 things, 2 possibilities that can happen in your life.
First, you wake up next to your loved one, and you feel like, yes, this is it. this is how life should be. My dreams, my goals, I have it all here in my hand thanks for His grace. I have come to the point that I could not ask for more. This is it.
And there's another thing. You wake up in the middle of the night, wondering what have you done with your life, how many years you've lost, how many years you've thrown away.
And to be honest dear, one of this possibilities can happen to anyone, to you, or me. And dear, you determine your own life, it is choice and not fate.
Things are a lot easier when you're young.
When you still have so much time in figuring out what you want in life. When you still can decide how and with whom you want to do it with.
When you're young, you achieve a little and people will praise you for that. Go buy that gadget on your own, people will wow you.
Go handle big campus event, people will wow you.
Go fix your own car, people will wow you.
But get a little older, say 22, or 23 years old.
Do the same thing and nobody gives a damn.
People will say that it is natural, it is normal.
Or another example, make mistakes, people will understand you. That it is normal for people your age to make mistakes.
And when the older make mistake, get ready for another battle.
I used to think how great it is to be around those age, young and free.
But it is not young, and the word free seem to be meaningless.
So again, I'm gonna say the future is unseen, but you determine your own.
What you're doing now is pretty much affect what you're doing tomorrow.
So much from me, have a nice weekend!

Faithful Husband, Loving Father

For those who have the most wonderful dad in the world, CHEERS!
This evening, I look at my dad's tired face, and out of sudden I feel blessed.
Not everyone has one.
For some people, they only have a father that fits their material needs. No offense.
My father can't buy me the car I want, or I need, yet.
He doesn't like it when I spend too much time playing around.
And yes, he's very strict when it comes to my allowance.
For the record, I'm not good at managing things.
But as I look to the other side, he never complain about me being so busy.
I mean, with all the meeting, training, and event, I need him, and it means reducing his nap time, but never ever he complains.
All the late night talks that means a lot.
When I have my exams, he knows that I'm such a coward, he'll sit by the tv and watch it til morning, just so I know that I'm not alone.

Uh well forget the car! My heavenly Father knows what I need.
Not every girl is blessed with such a wonderful dad.

My father may not have the coolest job on earth. But he's honest.
He's faithful to my mother.
And His being in my life made such a BIG difference.
He taught me not only the right and the wrongs,
He taught me what a commitment really is.
He taught me how to deal with things.
He's an EXCELLENT father. He exceeds the expectation.

Thank God for him!

More than true

There is a saying that I like the most. Among many other sayings that I've read in my life.
"Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us, that dragons can be beaten."
Well, our life isn't a fairy tale, and dragons simply doesn't exist. Because if they do, we might, or the scientist and archaeologist might have found their remains.
But the dragons I'm talking about is our own struggle.
Getting a good grade, pleasing your mother and father, doing the best in everything, wanting to be seen and noticed, and lots more other thing.
Before I go on, I have to ask you something, have you ever feel like you're up for no good, and that no matter how hard you've tried, things are still going wrong?
Well, I have.
It's recent. I don't really know why, but I believe that I wasn't this kind of person before. I let my emotion ruin everything, and I cry at things.
Until one night, there's a strike.
Life is indeed unfair, so make it fair. People may not notice how far you've come, the new people you meet everyday, the deal you make with the big bosses, well, they don't think of you that high.
And there's another saying say, do what you like before you have to do what you don't like.
But if somehow you're forced to do what you don't like, change it. Ask why, then fix it.
It is not as easy as I write it, trust me I have a struggle of my own.
But at least we tried.
Dragons can be beaten.
We can deal with our own inability.
It is not that hard, but it's not that easy either, We all face struggles in our life, that's the essence.
This writing may seem nothing, just a drop on this large and big sea. But I write because I like to write, because I have read things, like blogs and novels, or even short stories that touched me and change my way of thinking. I wish that the readers of my blog can feel the same.
And maybe, you think this blog is cliche, it talks about love and life. Well, mostly about love. But I thank you guys, whoever you are who read all my posts.
I am excited every time I see the number of page views increasing. From facebook, twitter, or even blackberry messengger, thank you guys. Have a nice weekend! Wonderful march awaits..!

Quitter

One day, in my crazy busy routine, I find myself reading a phase that a friend of mine wrote in her blackberry's personal message. It was simple, yet the meaning is deep. At least for me.
It said "Lord, You know that I'm not a quitter, but if You tell me to quit, I will."
What is a quitter. actually?
The word quitter refers to "one that quits; especially, one that gives up easily"
And believe it or not, quitter leads to loser.
But I believe none of us wants to be a quitter, I believe that you, yes you who's reading the post of my little unseen blog, are not a quitter.
But what if God tells you to quit?
There are times when He will ask you to put down all your dreams and plans that you've written in your to-do-list before I die.
When you look around for a way out but still, you can't find one.
And you look up, looking for a little hope, and He asks you to put things down, and walk in the path He has for you.
Will it be hard? Yes it will.
Don't complain, because after all, God never promise you a blue sky and chirping birds, a lifetime without storms. But He promised to be with you every step of the way.
Simply remember, that every step you take, He's with you.
And If He tells you to quit, it means that His plan towards you is far greater than your own "perfect plan".
When He ask you to put down your dreams and goal to walk on His path, you have to be ready for things like struggles, things like tears, times when you rather leave Him and follow your own plan, times when you think "He'll always love me anyway,".
Friends, there are reasons that we cannot always understand.
When you have to ask Him why many many times.
When you've done your best to a job, but still someone else is promoted ahead you.
You ask why Lord, why?
I really like this job, and why are You taking these away from me?
I really like this boy, why are You blocking our way?
I can shamelessly say that I don't have the answer with me. I don't know the reason why God is doing these things to you.
But you have to believe that He's up for good.
His plan towards you is full of dreams and hope for your future.
When things seems to be taken away from you, and you ask why, and there's no reply, all you can do is surrender.
Believe in God even when He's in silent.
But don't take this the wrong way. Each tasks and difficulty isn't always Him saying you have to quit.
Be smart also, don't simply surrender and say "It is all up to You, my Lord,"
You have to know when to  give everything up, and when to fight.
Be blessed, happy sunday, stay humble, and have a wonderful week ahead!
God bless you!