In-control? Under-control?

God has an amazing way in answering my prayer.
Since then and until now, He always have some weird methods to answer everything I doubt in my life.
And I don't have to wait.
He does it in an instant.
The analogy is like this : when I ask Him, "God, I really really want a book, please give me one, amen"
And pop, the next day someone will buy me one out of nothing.
It's true and this similar things happens a lot.
And this makes me wonder, should I be in control of every aspect in my life>
Should I mention every detail I want in my life and future, when or when I will meet someone who makes a big impact of my life? Should I request Him the future I would like to have and how I want to get there?
Sometimes I feel like I don't believe Him enough, and he's just "well, have it you way dear, and see what happens next,"
There was a time when I asked for something and when He fulfilled my wish, things turns to be a mess. And I break down. But until then, I still can't leave things in His hands.
I don't have the courage to say "Surprise me, Lord. My life is in Your hand and You are the driver, I will now enjoy my ride,"
I still want to be in control of everything.
I even mention the detail to Him, how, when, where, I would meet my true love. And I did wrote it down. His age, weight, height, everything.

But then I realize, that I should give everything under His control.
What's best come from His hands.
It's time to sit still and relax for a bit.
It's time to inhale deeply and say "God, I leave things to You"
I admire people who can do this. That they face every trouble with a light heart and forgive people quickly.
People who don't over analyze thing, people who have enough faith to be under His control.
Sometimes life stressed you out, and force you to be on your worst any day.
Sometimes, to be in-control of your life means to have a day when it all fall down.
Your strength, you self-defense, and you cry.
Maybe it is good. Sometimes.
But not every time, it makes you a drama queen.
Let it out, cry hard, but then forgive, forget, move on, and finally, leave it to His hand.
He will takes care of you, and He will guide you.
Be in control of your own emotion, your own heart, and then be under His control, leave things in His hand, it's best to let Him decide what's best for you.
Thanks for reading. Be blessed.