This afternoon I got to an argument with my boyfriend because we're having some time issue. Exams week is now here and we can't see each other as much as we want to.
Okay, let's now come to a whole different story. I was in a fellowship of my ministry. A Christmas fellowship. And there my life has been recovered, God has touched my heart, again.
You might want to ask about connection between the title, my boyfriend and my Christmas fellowship. I suddenly thought, what if God said "dear, I love you. But I can not always be with you, take care,okay?"
I think that feeling is similar with being apart from my boyfriend, you'll somehow feel lonely. It is easy to be faithful if he is near and he can always be there. It is easy to be faith ful when you get to see him as much as you want, and when he stays sweet. But what if he's in aland far away to achieve his dreams? What if he can't contact you as much as you want him to?
Same thing happen with our relationship with God. It's easy to believe in Him, to trust Him when the water's quiet and there's no wind. It's easy to believe in His power and mercy when you can feel His hand holding yours. When He can always answer you. But what if the water's get rough and the wind blows hard. You reach out for His hand and He doesn't seem to be there? You shout "Lord where are You?" ad there's no response. Can you still say "I believe"? Can you be faithful with putting all your fears in His feet?
I failed once in this test. I went on my own, felt like I can make it alone. But we can't.
We often cheat over Him by holding on to something else. Like ourselves. We hold on to our own understanding and pride.
It is about keeping the faith alive, even when you can't feel Him. The key is to just believe. Believe that deep down, you know He's watching over you. Be like, who? I forgot. One of the disciples of Jesus who sang praises when Mary told them that Jesus is alive. Just believe.
Have a blessed final exam week guys!
Monday 3 December 2012
Friday 23 November 2012
Mary and Martha
In Christian Bible, there's this story about Mary and Martha.
One day, Jesus is about to come to their house.
So Martha, being a good host, she was busy preparing for the Master's coming.
She prepared dishes and else.
Mary did nothing.
When Jesus finally came, Mary was there listening to Him.
But Martha was still busy with her own preparation.
She forgets what He really wants, what Jesus wants is for her to be there, sit down and listen.
Often we are being Martha, busy.
We prepare for His coming and then we come to a point when we suddenly forget why we do that in the first place.
We forget about Him because we are being too busy with the preparation.
What He really wants in for us to sit down in silent, being there with Him.
We do this and that, running here and there.
Trying to please Him with all the foods and drinks we've been preparing.
Trying to make Him the best seat, and then we forget to sit there with Him.
This also happened to me.
I've been being Martha for too long.
I'm preparing the dishes, making a comfortable seats, I'm preparing for the red carpet.
And it somehow changes my focus. The longer I do this, the more I do it for my own pleasures.
I have to stop and be Mary.
I miss His presence and words.
As I prepared for His coming, I did not even realize that He's already here!
To Him, everything I've been preparing don't matter as much as me to just spend my time with Him.
What matters to Him most is us.
So dear Martha, whoever reading this blog. You don't do anything wrong.
But take time to breathe and come to His presence, He misses you.
Have a blessed weekend~
One day, Jesus is about to come to their house.
So Martha, being a good host, she was busy preparing for the Master's coming.
She prepared dishes and else.
Mary did nothing.
When Jesus finally came, Mary was there listening to Him.
But Martha was still busy with her own preparation.
She forgets what He really wants, what Jesus wants is for her to be there, sit down and listen.
Often we are being Martha, busy.
We prepare for His coming and then we come to a point when we suddenly forget why we do that in the first place.
We forget about Him because we are being too busy with the preparation.
What He really wants in for us to sit down in silent, being there with Him.
We do this and that, running here and there.
Trying to please Him with all the foods and drinks we've been preparing.
Trying to make Him the best seat, and then we forget to sit there with Him.
This also happened to me.
I've been being Martha for too long.
I'm preparing the dishes, making a comfortable seats, I'm preparing for the red carpet.
And it somehow changes my focus. The longer I do this, the more I do it for my own pleasures.
I have to stop and be Mary.
I miss His presence and words.
As I prepared for His coming, I did not even realize that He's already here!
To Him, everything I've been preparing don't matter as much as me to just spend my time with Him.
What matters to Him most is us.
So dear Martha, whoever reading this blog. You don't do anything wrong.
But take time to breathe and come to His presence, He misses you.
Have a blessed weekend~
Tuesday 30 October 2012
Little thought in the middle of the day
Do you know how it feels to miss someone so much, but you can not do anything about it? How you remember how he used to be to you, and how you remember how much he loved you. To be honest, I don't.
But I'm trying to understand the sparks in her eyes.
I try to understand that feeling, loving someone who used to love you.
I try to understand how it feels to have nowhere to go, stuck in the corner,
I try to understand how bad you miss someone, but you're not able to say it.
That hurts, a lot.
Sometimes, people make mistakes.
You'll never know what you got until you lose it.
Sometimes, everything is just too late. You feel like if only.
And maybe, that's the only thing you can do.
Some people need a lesson :)
But I'm trying to understand the sparks in her eyes.
I try to understand that feeling, loving someone who used to love you.
I try to understand how it feels to have nowhere to go, stuck in the corner,
I try to understand how bad you miss someone, but you're not able to say it.
That hurts, a lot.
Sometimes, people make mistakes.
You'll never know what you got until you lose it.
Sometimes, everything is just too late. You feel like if only.
And maybe, that's the only thing you can do.
Some people need a lesson :)
Saturday 13 October 2012
Inhibitor
So you and him work like an enzyme. You feel like you both are meant to be together, and you fit for each other.
To you, there will be no one else that would understand you like he does.
And just like enzyme and its substrate, you both work specifically and effectively, creating days full of love.
But enzyme-substrate relationship doesn't go that smooth.
There's this thingy called inhibitor. It has several ways to work in e-s relationship. Inhibitor can takes over substrate's place, or silently 'flirt' with the enzyme and change the active side of the enzyme, and then the substrate will be left alone.
Similar thing happens in a relationship.
But we are neither enzyme or substrate. We can decide whether we want to be interfered with the inhibitor or not.
Sometimes, or in my case,most of the time, the inhibitor is the past. No matter how much I believe that the past stays in the past. It knocks me down.
It pushes me to the deepest corner, and I can't fight back.
It feels like something great is tearing me down, and there I am, left, all alone.
And to be honest, when you love someone, you'll be surprised at how much you are willing to give to that person.
You'll be surprised that you are somehow afraid of losing him, eve though you know that he's not going anywhere.
This inhibitor, is maybe the worst enemy in a relationship.
When you overcome this, you'll be free.
Yes, sometimes you have to be much stronger than you've ever been.
To you, there will be no one else that would understand you like he does.
And just like enzyme and its substrate, you both work specifically and effectively, creating days full of love.
But enzyme-substrate relationship doesn't go that smooth.
There's this thingy called inhibitor. It has several ways to work in e-s relationship. Inhibitor can takes over substrate's place, or silently 'flirt' with the enzyme and change the active side of the enzyme, and then the substrate will be left alone.
Similar thing happens in a relationship.
But we are neither enzyme or substrate. We can decide whether we want to be interfered with the inhibitor or not.
Sometimes, or in my case,most of the time, the inhibitor is the past. No matter how much I believe that the past stays in the past. It knocks me down.
It pushes me to the deepest corner, and I can't fight back.
It feels like something great is tearing me down, and there I am, left, all alone.
And to be honest, when you love someone, you'll be surprised at how much you are willing to give to that person.
You'll be surprised that you are somehow afraid of losing him, eve though you know that he's not going anywhere.
This inhibitor, is maybe the worst enemy in a relationship.
When you overcome this, you'll be free.
Yes, sometimes you have to be much stronger than you've ever been.
Sunday 7 October 2012
quote "I don't want to leave" unquote
In a relationship, there comes a time when you somehow doubt your partner and the future of both of you.
Time when words aren't enough to describe how you feel, when you just can't understand why your partner is making you sad.
You think, and think, and think.
And then there's this question
"what if we have to say good bye?"
I wasn't surprised. But still, that thing scares me.
I have been asking this question to God. And I come to a request, sort of a demand.. that if we have to say good bye. Don't break his heart. Break mine.
And so I said, "I'll let you go"
Then there was a long pause.
He answered "I don't want to leave"
Speechless. I try to tell him that if being with me doesn't make him happy, he can leave. It's his right.
I have made a lot pf problems.
In fact, most of our fight are about my schedule. LOL.
But yet he said "I don't want to leave"
Love means sacrifice.
At first I don't understand what's the meaning of it,
but now.. I think I do.
The wind blows hard, the water gets rough.
Yes, we are tired with all those arguments,
yet, we don't want to leave.
I choose to stay.
Time when words aren't enough to describe how you feel, when you just can't understand why your partner is making you sad.
You think, and think, and think.
And then there's this question
"what if we have to say good bye?"
I wasn't surprised. But still, that thing scares me.
I have been asking this question to God. And I come to a request, sort of a demand.. that if we have to say good bye. Don't break his heart. Break mine.
And so I said, "I'll let you go"
Then there was a long pause.
He answered "I don't want to leave"
Speechless. I try to tell him that if being with me doesn't make him happy, he can leave. It's his right.
I have made a lot pf problems.
In fact, most of our fight are about my schedule. LOL.
But yet he said "I don't want to leave"
Love means sacrifice.
At first I don't understand what's the meaning of it,
but now.. I think I do.
The wind blows hard, the water gets rough.
Yes, we are tired with all those arguments,
yet, we don't want to leave.
I choose to stay.
Thursday 26 July 2012
Dreams are coming true!
And here goes a fact no one is certain about...
Dreams that actually come true.
Just now I contacted someone I barely know online. He and I shared the same dream, he, and I and many other people I never met before, but connected by our similarities.
We love to write, and we make critics to each other's writing.
Who knows that one day, one of us will have his book published?
Life is full of surprises.
As I read his blog : http://alvi-syahrin.blogspot.com/
I realize that it's a long road to a fulfilled dream.
It means thousands of sleepless night and thousands of hard work, sometimes a despair and some critics.
Remember a phrase said "We're dealing with the same hell, just different devil" ?
He said that he ever thought of giving up. But life is a challenge.
And he face it well knowing that his book will be published soon!
Life is indeed a challenge.
We wanted to give up, I wanted to just give it up. I wanted to leave everything behind and maybe start a new thing.
But this is your battle. And we don't quit, we fight.
It's not as easy.
Along the way you'll find someone who'll lend a shoulder to cry on and say some comforting words.
Or someone who will criticize you and tell you to face your own giants.
Either way, this someone usually the same someone, who gives you strength and support, and an endless hugs and love.
Sometimes you just need to say to yourself that you are stronger than you believe you are.
You are tough.
But there will also be times when everything seems to break down and you cannot see or reach for the light anymore.
Cry, cry a lot.
And when you're done, face it.
Because dreams are coming true. My friend is a proof of that!
It is not cliche and it is real!
Pray, nothing can be done without His presence.
Believe yourself, you are capable.
And work hard enough to make destiny knows that you deserve the sunlight.
Dreams that actually come true.
Just now I contacted someone I barely know online. He and I shared the same dream, he, and I and many other people I never met before, but connected by our similarities.
We love to write, and we make critics to each other's writing.
Who knows that one day, one of us will have his book published?
Life is full of surprises.
As I read his blog : http://alvi-syahrin.blogspot.com/
I realize that it's a long road to a fulfilled dream.
It means thousands of sleepless night and thousands of hard work, sometimes a despair and some critics.
Remember a phrase said "We're dealing with the same hell, just different devil" ?
He said that he ever thought of giving up. But life is a challenge.
And he face it well knowing that his book will be published soon!
Life is indeed a challenge.
We wanted to give up, I wanted to just give it up. I wanted to leave everything behind and maybe start a new thing.
But this is your battle. And we don't quit, we fight.
It's not as easy.
Along the way you'll find someone who'll lend a shoulder to cry on and say some comforting words.
Or someone who will criticize you and tell you to face your own giants.
Either way, this someone usually the same someone, who gives you strength and support, and an endless hugs and love.
Sometimes you just need to say to yourself that you are stronger than you believe you are.
You are tough.
But there will also be times when everything seems to break down and you cannot see or reach for the light anymore.
Cry, cry a lot.
And when you're done, face it.
Because dreams are coming true. My friend is a proof of that!
It is not cliche and it is real!
Pray, nothing can be done without His presence.
Believe yourself, you are capable.
And work hard enough to make destiny knows that you deserve the sunlight.
In-control? Under-control?
God has an amazing way in answering my prayer.
Since then and until now, He always have some weird methods to answer everything I doubt in my life.
And I don't have to wait.
He does it in an instant.
The analogy is like this : when I ask Him, "God, I really really want a book, please give me one, amen"
And pop, the next day someone will buy me one out of nothing.
It's true and this similar things happens a lot.
And this makes me wonder, should I be in control of every aspect in my life>
Should I mention every detail I want in my life and future, when or when I will meet someone who makes a big impact of my life? Should I request Him the future I would like to have and how I want to get there?
Sometimes I feel like I don't believe Him enough, and he's just "well, have it you way dear, and see what happens next,"
There was a time when I asked for something and when He fulfilled my wish, things turns to be a mess. And I break down. But until then, I still can't leave things in His hands.
I don't have the courage to say "Surprise me, Lord. My life is in Your hand and You are the driver, I will now enjoy my ride,"
I still want to be in control of everything.
I even mention the detail to Him, how, when, where, I would meet my true love. And I did wrote it down. His age, weight, height, everything.
But then I realize, that I should give everything under His control.
What's best come from His hands.
It's time to sit still and relax for a bit.
It's time to inhale deeply and say "God, I leave things to You"
I admire people who can do this. That they face every trouble with a light heart and forgive people quickly.
People who don't over analyze thing, people who have enough faith to be under His control.
Sometimes life stressed you out, and force you to be on your worst any day.
Sometimes, to be in-control of your life means to have a day when it all fall down.
Your strength, you self-defense, and you cry.
Maybe it is good. Sometimes.
But not every time, it makes you a drama queen.
Let it out, cry hard, but then forgive, forget, move on, and finally, leave it to His hand.
He will takes care of you, and He will guide you.
Be in control of your own emotion, your own heart, and then be under His control, leave things in His hand, it's best to let Him decide what's best for you.
Thanks for reading. Be blessed.
Since then and until now, He always have some weird methods to answer everything I doubt in my life.
And I don't have to wait.
He does it in an instant.
The analogy is like this : when I ask Him, "God, I really really want a book, please give me one, amen"
And pop, the next day someone will buy me one out of nothing.
It's true and this similar things happens a lot.
And this makes me wonder, should I be in control of every aspect in my life>
Should I mention every detail I want in my life and future, when or when I will meet someone who makes a big impact of my life? Should I request Him the future I would like to have and how I want to get there?
Sometimes I feel like I don't believe Him enough, and he's just "well, have it you way dear, and see what happens next,"
There was a time when I asked for something and when He fulfilled my wish, things turns to be a mess. And I break down. But until then, I still can't leave things in His hands.
I don't have the courage to say "Surprise me, Lord. My life is in Your hand and You are the driver, I will now enjoy my ride,"
I still want to be in control of everything.
I even mention the detail to Him, how, when, where, I would meet my true love. And I did wrote it down. His age, weight, height, everything.
But then I realize, that I should give everything under His control.
What's best come from His hands.
It's time to sit still and relax for a bit.
It's time to inhale deeply and say "God, I leave things to You"
I admire people who can do this. That they face every trouble with a light heart and forgive people quickly.
People who don't over analyze thing, people who have enough faith to be under His control.
Sometimes life stressed you out, and force you to be on your worst any day.
Sometimes, to be in-control of your life means to have a day when it all fall down.
Your strength, you self-defense, and you cry.
Maybe it is good. Sometimes.
But not every time, it makes you a drama queen.
Let it out, cry hard, but then forgive, forget, move on, and finally, leave it to His hand.
He will takes care of you, and He will guide you.
Be in control of your own emotion, your own heart, and then be under His control, leave things in His hand, it's best to let Him decide what's best for you.
Thanks for reading. Be blessed.
Sunday 24 June 2012
How many chances do you want?
This title resembles what we're dealing with in real life.
How many chances do you want?
One?
You want it so bad, one chance isn't enough.
Three?
Oh, you don't believe yourself, do you?
Sometimes you're running out of chances before you even realize it.
Sometimes you don't feel like giving your best before you are put into a situation in which you are in control, and every move you make is being judged.
And there are times when you feel like you've given your best, but still none appreciate it.
Well, life's like this. Get used to it.
You wonder and wonder, when will I get the chance like everyone else?
You wonder too much that it pass you by without you even notice.
Or, you focus way too much on what is ahead you instead of giving the best for now, and again, that chance pass you by on your notice.
Someone once say "you have to exceeds people's expectation,"
And I learn that, to exceed people's expectation, the first thing you must do is believe in yourself.
If you don't, who will?
I often find myself doubting me.
Lots of what ifs, have i done the right thing?
Lots of insecure feelings.
Lack of experience that I'm afraid of my own error.
But hey! You don't get that many chance!
You have to work on yourself, make yourself seen, heard, known of your intelligence and ability.
I know, I make it look easy, while in fact, this has been the hardest thing I ever face in my life til now.
I have pushed to the point when I have to ask, how many chance do I have left?
In real life, things don't always go this way.
The way I see it, when you're young, you get lots of chance, to swim new river, or climb more mountains.
And as time goes by, life that gets in the way, your chance to explore the world is not much.
While you're young, learn a lot, learn new language, be in a competition, do everything that raises your self esteem, anything that gives you a positive affect on your future and to the people around you.
Make your parents proud. That one day you'll look backward and regret nothing.
How many chances do you want?
This is the question you should ask to yourself.
In the end, it all come back to you.
How many chances do you want?
One?
You want it so bad, one chance isn't enough.
Three?
Oh, you don't believe yourself, do you?
Sometimes you're running out of chances before you even realize it.
Sometimes you don't feel like giving your best before you are put into a situation in which you are in control, and every move you make is being judged.
And there are times when you feel like you've given your best, but still none appreciate it.
Well, life's like this. Get used to it.
You wonder and wonder, when will I get the chance like everyone else?
You wonder too much that it pass you by without you even notice.
Or, you focus way too much on what is ahead you instead of giving the best for now, and again, that chance pass you by on your notice.
Someone once say "you have to exceeds people's expectation,"
And I learn that, to exceed people's expectation, the first thing you must do is believe in yourself.
If you don't, who will?
I often find myself doubting me.
Lots of what ifs, have i done the right thing?
Lots of insecure feelings.
Lack of experience that I'm afraid of my own error.
But hey! You don't get that many chance!
You have to work on yourself, make yourself seen, heard, known of your intelligence and ability.
I know, I make it look easy, while in fact, this has been the hardest thing I ever face in my life til now.
I have pushed to the point when I have to ask, how many chance do I have left?
In real life, things don't always go this way.
The way I see it, when you're young, you get lots of chance, to swim new river, or climb more mountains.
And as time goes by, life that gets in the way, your chance to explore the world is not much.
While you're young, learn a lot, learn new language, be in a competition, do everything that raises your self esteem, anything that gives you a positive affect on your future and to the people around you.
Make your parents proud. That one day you'll look backward and regret nothing.
How many chances do you want?
This is the question you should ask to yourself.
In the end, it all come back to you.
Wednesday 20 June 2012
We've come this far!
This evening my blackberry, my lovely blackberry went dead. And I was like Oh my God, what should I do.
Left with a straight face upon my facial expression.
I was forced to use my old and almost useless cellphone.
Oh come on! it's not even qwerty!
But then, this turns out to be mercy in disguise.
I was bored that I decided to re-read every old conversation in that old ugly cellphone.
And out of sudden, between each messages, I realized.
I grow up, I've come this far.
I re-read lots of old messages from those who have gone overseas, who has changed their city. And I have some kind of emotion that's just .... in-explainable.
We made some promises, some have such a deep meaning, and some, well some made me laugh out loud.
It was the point of silliness. Having no idea at all about what we should do in life.
Back then, when we graduated from high school, we have so many dreams, so many plans.
Now, I'm seeing the dreams coming true and the plans turns alive.
So many feeling, emotion, rush into my vein.
Things change, my point of view changed, and the people I'm hanging around with, also change.
Even that special person we used to have, changed.
But I'm proud of us.
The people I used to see everyday.
Things change, but we don't.
Looking back, I regret nothing.
I am blessed, beyond what I deserved.
Left with a straight face upon my facial expression.
I was forced to use my old and almost useless cellphone.
Oh come on! it's not even qwerty!
But then, this turns out to be mercy in disguise.
I was bored that I decided to re-read every old conversation in that old ugly cellphone.
And out of sudden, between each messages, I realized.
I grow up, I've come this far.
I re-read lots of old messages from those who have gone overseas, who has changed their city. And I have some kind of emotion that's just .... in-explainable.
We made some promises, some have such a deep meaning, and some, well some made me laugh out loud.
It was the point of silliness. Having no idea at all about what we should do in life.
Back then, when we graduated from high school, we have so many dreams, so many plans.
Now, I'm seeing the dreams coming true and the plans turns alive.
So many feeling, emotion, rush into my vein.
Things change, my point of view changed, and the people I'm hanging around with, also change.
Even that special person we used to have, changed.
But I'm proud of us.
The people I used to see everyday.
Things change, but we don't.
Looking back, I regret nothing.
I am blessed, beyond what I deserved.
Tuesday 12 June 2012
Beauty fades
I once read an article, a nice heartwarming story about a girl, who's not so good in her studies. She's an average, no matter what lessons are taught, she's never go higher than B+.
B+ is good, but still it's not straight A!
Even her parents wonder why. And if there ever comes a day when their daughter got an A, one single A, well, they will throw a party to celebrate that.
But that day isn't coming.
And they gave up.
Once, they asked their daughter, what does she wants herself to be in the future.
They expect an extraordinary answer from her, but again, the unexpected happened.
"Well, I want to get married, and be a loving wife and caring mother, and maybe I want to be a preschool teacher,"
The parents stood in silent.
And at this point I think, o my, she's so ordinary! But the story isn't over, you have to take a look on the other side.
One day, the parents got a call from her high school teacher.
The teacher said that this girl, from time to time is an average student. She can't go higher, and even if she tried, the results is still B+.
Well that's bad, the parents thought.
But,
yes, there is a but that changes this whole average and ordinary girl.
"I once asked each one of the student in this class, if you have to pick one of your classmate, who would you pick? And amazingly, almost everybody chose your daughter. And there's another question, why would you choose that person? The answers are outstanding. They say that she's kind, and cheerful, she helps without thinking of herself. She smiles a lot, and on, and on,"
The parents then going home with a lot of thought in their head.
What does a report card full of straight A mean, if she's not an excellent person in life?
It's not how good you sing, how great your dancing is, how fluent you are in English, Chinese, or whatever.
How you react to things determines mostly who you are.
So if one day you become great, please remember who you were before this.
What is a pretty face without a pretty heart?
Who do you want to be with? A beautiful lady that is full of anger and self-pity, or an average girl who listen to your greatest despair and face them with you?
You choose.
Beauty fades, character remains.
B+ is good, but still it's not straight A!
Even her parents wonder why. And if there ever comes a day when their daughter got an A, one single A, well, they will throw a party to celebrate that.
But that day isn't coming.
And they gave up.
Once, they asked their daughter, what does she wants herself to be in the future.
They expect an extraordinary answer from her, but again, the unexpected happened.
"Well, I want to get married, and be a loving wife and caring mother, and maybe I want to be a preschool teacher,"
The parents stood in silent.
And at this point I think, o my, she's so ordinary! But the story isn't over, you have to take a look on the other side.
One day, the parents got a call from her high school teacher.
The teacher said that this girl, from time to time is an average student. She can't go higher, and even if she tried, the results is still B+.
Well that's bad, the parents thought.
But,
yes, there is a but that changes this whole average and ordinary girl.
"I once asked each one of the student in this class, if you have to pick one of your classmate, who would you pick? And amazingly, almost everybody chose your daughter. And there's another question, why would you choose that person? The answers are outstanding. They say that she's kind, and cheerful, she helps without thinking of herself. She smiles a lot, and on, and on,"
The parents then going home with a lot of thought in their head.
What does a report card full of straight A mean, if she's not an excellent person in life?
It's not how good you sing, how great your dancing is, how fluent you are in English, Chinese, or whatever.
How you react to things determines mostly who you are.
So if one day you become great, please remember who you were before this.
What is a pretty face without a pretty heart?
Who do you want to be with? A beautiful lady that is full of anger and self-pity, or an average girl who listen to your greatest despair and face them with you?
You choose.
Beauty fades, character remains.
Friday 1 June 2012
Age is (not) just a number
To all couples who believes that age is just a number, congratulation.
It is a nice thing to know that love works through all circumstances.
But age works the opposite way in real life.
In your career, your way reaching your dreams, age is not just a number.
It is one of the indicator of success.
There are 2 things, 2 possibilities that can happen in your life.
First, you wake up next to your loved one, and you feel like, yes, this is it. this is how life should be. My dreams, my goals, I have it all here in my hand thanks for His grace. I have come to the point that I could not ask for more. This is it.
And there's another thing. You wake up in the middle of the night, wondering what have you done with your life, how many years you've lost, how many years you've thrown away.
And to be honest dear, one of this possibilities can happen to anyone, to you, or me. And dear, you determine your own life, it is choice and not fate.
Things are a lot easier when you're young.
When you still have so much time in figuring out what you want in life. When you still can decide how and with whom you want to do it with.
When you're young, you achieve a little and people will praise you for that. Go buy that gadget on your own, people will wow you.
Go handle big campus event, people will wow you.
Go fix your own car, people will wow you.
But get a little older, say 22, or 23 years old.
Do the same thing and nobody gives a damn.
People will say that it is natural, it is normal.
Or another example, make mistakes, people will understand you. That it is normal for people your age to make mistakes.
And when the older make mistake, get ready for another battle.
I used to think how great it is to be around those age, young and free.
But it is not young, and the word free seem to be meaningless.
So again, I'm gonna say the future is unseen, but you determine your own.
What you're doing now is pretty much affect what you're doing tomorrow.
So much from me, have a nice weekend!
It is a nice thing to know that love works through all circumstances.
But age works the opposite way in real life.
In your career, your way reaching your dreams, age is not just a number.
It is one of the indicator of success.
There are 2 things, 2 possibilities that can happen in your life.
First, you wake up next to your loved one, and you feel like, yes, this is it. this is how life should be. My dreams, my goals, I have it all here in my hand thanks for His grace. I have come to the point that I could not ask for more. This is it.
And there's another thing. You wake up in the middle of the night, wondering what have you done with your life, how many years you've lost, how many years you've thrown away.
And to be honest dear, one of this possibilities can happen to anyone, to you, or me. And dear, you determine your own life, it is choice and not fate.
Things are a lot easier when you're young.
When you still have so much time in figuring out what you want in life. When you still can decide how and with whom you want to do it with.
When you're young, you achieve a little and people will praise you for that. Go buy that gadget on your own, people will wow you.
Go handle big campus event, people will wow you.
Go fix your own car, people will wow you.
But get a little older, say 22, or 23 years old.
Do the same thing and nobody gives a damn.
People will say that it is natural, it is normal.
Or another example, make mistakes, people will understand you. That it is normal for people your age to make mistakes.
And when the older make mistake, get ready for another battle.
I used to think how great it is to be around those age, young and free.
But it is not young, and the word free seem to be meaningless.
So again, I'm gonna say the future is unseen, but you determine your own.
What you're doing now is pretty much affect what you're doing tomorrow.
So much from me, have a nice weekend!
Wednesday 18 April 2012
Faithful Husband, Loving Father
For those who have the most wonderful dad in the world, CHEERS!
This evening, I look at my dad's tired face, and out of sudden I feel blessed.
Not everyone has one.
For some people, they only have a father that fits their material needs. No offense.
My father can't buy me the car I want, or I need, yet.
He doesn't like it when I spend too much time playing around.
And yes, he's very strict when it comes to my allowance.
For the record, I'm not good at managing things.
But as I look to the other side, he never complain about me being so busy.
I mean, with all the meeting, training, and event, I need him, and it means reducing his nap time, but never ever he complains.
All the late night talks that means a lot.
When I have my exams, he knows that I'm such a coward, he'll sit by the tv and watch it til morning, just so I know that I'm not alone.
Uh well forget the car! My heavenly Father knows what I need.
Not every girl is blessed with such a wonderful dad.
My father may not have the coolest job on earth. But he's honest.
He's faithful to my mother.
And His being in my life made such a BIG difference.
He taught me not only the right and the wrongs,
He taught me what a commitment really is.
He taught me how to deal with things.
He's an EXCELLENT father. He exceeds the expectation.
Thank God for him!
This evening, I look at my dad's tired face, and out of sudden I feel blessed.
Not everyone has one.
For some people, they only have a father that fits their material needs. No offense.
My father can't buy me the car I want, or I need, yet.
He doesn't like it when I spend too much time playing around.
And yes, he's very strict when it comes to my allowance.
For the record, I'm not good at managing things.
But as I look to the other side, he never complain about me being so busy.
I mean, with all the meeting, training, and event, I need him, and it means reducing his nap time, but never ever he complains.
All the late night talks that means a lot.
When I have my exams, he knows that I'm such a coward, he'll sit by the tv and watch it til morning, just so I know that I'm not alone.
Uh well forget the car! My heavenly Father knows what I need.
Not every girl is blessed with such a wonderful dad.
My father may not have the coolest job on earth. But he's honest.
He's faithful to my mother.
And His being in my life made such a BIG difference.
He taught me not only the right and the wrongs,
He taught me what a commitment really is.
He taught me how to deal with things.
He's an EXCELLENT father. He exceeds the expectation.
Thank God for him!
Friday 2 March 2012
More than true
There is a saying that I like the most. Among many other sayings that I've read in my life.
"Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us, that dragons can be beaten."
Well, our life isn't a fairy tale, and dragons simply doesn't exist. Because if they do, we might, or the scientist and archaeologist might have found their remains.
But the dragons I'm talking about is our own struggle.
Getting a good grade, pleasing your mother and father, doing the best in everything, wanting to be seen and noticed, and lots more other thing.
Before I go on, I have to ask you something, have you ever feel like you're up for no good, and that no matter how hard you've tried, things are still going wrong?
Well, I have.
It's recent. I don't really know why, but I believe that I wasn't this kind of person before. I let my emotion ruin everything, and I cry at things.
Until one night, there's a strike.
Life is indeed unfair, so make it fair. People may not notice how far you've come, the new people you meet everyday, the deal you make with the big bosses, well, they don't think of you that high.
And there's another saying say, do what you like before you have to do what you don't like.
But if somehow you're forced to do what you don't like, change it. Ask why, then fix it.
It is not as easy as I write it, trust me I have a struggle of my own.
But at least we tried.
Dragons can be beaten.
We can deal with our own inability.
It is not that hard, but it's not that easy either, We all face struggles in our life, that's the essence.
This writing may seem nothing, just a drop on this large and big sea. But I write because I like to write, because I have read things, like blogs and novels, or even short stories that touched me and change my way of thinking. I wish that the readers of my blog can feel the same.
And maybe, you think this blog is cliche, it talks about love and life. Well, mostly about love. But I thank you guys, whoever you are who read all my posts.
I am excited every time I see the number of page views increasing. From facebook, twitter, or even blackberry messengger, thank you guys. Have a nice weekend! Wonderful march awaits..!
"Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us, that dragons can be beaten."
Well, our life isn't a fairy tale, and dragons simply doesn't exist. Because if they do, we might, or the scientist and archaeologist might have found their remains.
But the dragons I'm talking about is our own struggle.
Getting a good grade, pleasing your mother and father, doing the best in everything, wanting to be seen and noticed, and lots more other thing.
Before I go on, I have to ask you something, have you ever feel like you're up for no good, and that no matter how hard you've tried, things are still going wrong?
Well, I have.
It's recent. I don't really know why, but I believe that I wasn't this kind of person before. I let my emotion ruin everything, and I cry at things.
Until one night, there's a strike.
Life is indeed unfair, so make it fair. People may not notice how far you've come, the new people you meet everyday, the deal you make with the big bosses, well, they don't think of you that high.
And there's another saying say, do what you like before you have to do what you don't like.
But if somehow you're forced to do what you don't like, change it. Ask why, then fix it.
It is not as easy as I write it, trust me I have a struggle of my own.
But at least we tried.
Dragons can be beaten.
We can deal with our own inability.
It is not that hard, but it's not that easy either, We all face struggles in our life, that's the essence.
This writing may seem nothing, just a drop on this large and big sea. But I write because I like to write, because I have read things, like blogs and novels, or even short stories that touched me and change my way of thinking. I wish that the readers of my blog can feel the same.
And maybe, you think this blog is cliche, it talks about love and life. Well, mostly about love. But I thank you guys, whoever you are who read all my posts.
I am excited every time I see the number of page views increasing. From facebook, twitter, or even blackberry messengger, thank you guys. Have a nice weekend! Wonderful march awaits..!
Sunday 26 February 2012
Quitter
One day, in my crazy busy routine, I find myself reading a phase that a friend of mine wrote in her blackberry's personal message. It was simple, yet the meaning is deep. At least for me.
It said "Lord, You know that I'm not a quitter, but if You tell me to quit, I will."
What is a quitter. actually?
The word quitter refers to "one that quits; especially, one that gives up easily"
And believe it or not, quitter leads to loser.
But I believe none of us wants to be a quitter, I believe that you, yes you who's reading the post of my little unseen blog, are not a quitter.
But what if God tells you to quit?
There are times when He will ask you to put down all your dreams and plans that you've written in your to-do-list before I die.
When you look around for a way out but still, you can't find one.
And you look up, looking for a little hope, and He asks you to put things down, and walk in the path He has for you.
Will it be hard? Yes it will.
Don't complain, because after all, God never promise you a blue sky and chirping birds, a lifetime without storms. But He promised to be with you every step of the way.
Simply remember, that every step you take, He's with you.
And If He tells you to quit, it means that His plan towards you is far greater than your own "perfect plan".
When He ask you to put down your dreams and goal to walk on His path, you have to be ready for things like struggles, things like tears, times when you rather leave Him and follow your own plan, times when you think "He'll always love me anyway,".
Friends, there are reasons that we cannot always understand.
When you have to ask Him why many many times.
When you've done your best to a job, but still someone else is promoted ahead you.
You ask why Lord, why?
I really like this job, and why are You taking these away from me?
I really like this boy, why are You blocking our way?
I can shamelessly say that I don't have the answer with me. I don't know the reason why God is doing these things to you.
But you have to believe that He's up for good.
His plan towards you is full of dreams and hope for your future.
When things seems to be taken away from you, and you ask why, and there's no reply, all you can do is surrender.
Believe in God even when He's in silent.
But don't take this the wrong way. Each tasks and difficulty isn't always Him saying you have to quit.
Be smart also, don't simply surrender and say "It is all up to You, my Lord,"
You have to know when to give everything up, and when to fight.
Be blessed, happy sunday, stay humble, and have a wonderful week ahead!
God bless you!
It said "Lord, You know that I'm not a quitter, but if You tell me to quit, I will."
What is a quitter. actually?
The word quitter refers to "one that quits; especially, one that gives up easily"
And believe it or not, quitter leads to loser.
But I believe none of us wants to be a quitter, I believe that you, yes you who's reading the post of my little unseen blog, are not a quitter.
But what if God tells you to quit?
There are times when He will ask you to put down all your dreams and plans that you've written in your to-do-list before I die.
When you look around for a way out but still, you can't find one.
And you look up, looking for a little hope, and He asks you to put things down, and walk in the path He has for you.
Will it be hard? Yes it will.
Don't complain, because after all, God never promise you a blue sky and chirping birds, a lifetime without storms. But He promised to be with you every step of the way.
Simply remember, that every step you take, He's with you.
And If He tells you to quit, it means that His plan towards you is far greater than your own "perfect plan".
When He ask you to put down your dreams and goal to walk on His path, you have to be ready for things like struggles, things like tears, times when you rather leave Him and follow your own plan, times when you think "He'll always love me anyway,".
Friends, there are reasons that we cannot always understand.
When you have to ask Him why many many times.
When you've done your best to a job, but still someone else is promoted ahead you.
You ask why Lord, why?
I really like this job, and why are You taking these away from me?
I really like this boy, why are You blocking our way?
I can shamelessly say that I don't have the answer with me. I don't know the reason why God is doing these things to you.
But you have to believe that He's up for good.
His plan towards you is full of dreams and hope for your future.
When things seems to be taken away from you, and you ask why, and there's no reply, all you can do is surrender.
Believe in God even when He's in silent.
But don't take this the wrong way. Each tasks and difficulty isn't always Him saying you have to quit.
Be smart also, don't simply surrender and say "It is all up to You, my Lord,"
You have to know when to give everything up, and when to fight.
Be blessed, happy sunday, stay humble, and have a wonderful week ahead!
God bless you!
Sunday 19 February 2012
Choices
Do you know about R.L Stine? Maybe he lives in 1980's. He is one of my favorite writer.
He doesn't write my kind of story, like romantic or sweet stories, no. He writes horror. Alright, this doesn't feel right.
But you know what I mean, rite?
My favorite was the fear street series, but that's not what I'm going to write.
There was one series, about Halloween, that allowed us, reader, to choose.
We become the main character.
The first page is about the introduction of the story, and the last sentence of it will be a question. Which one do you choose?
And you must choose wisely. If you don't, you die.
But since it's not our life, since I can turn back to the page from which the last question came from, I don't think much.
If I die in the next page, I can always turn over.
But sadly, in real life, when you die, you simply die.
You can't turn over and start new.
And once you choose, well, you must live with it and the consequences for a life time.
It's like our life, you know, this book.
When you were young, the introduction, you get to know the people you live with, the opportunities that lies within, who wants to stand by you and who wants to stab you in the back.
And each time you're getting older, you are given a question. Maybe, you don't die in each question, the stakes are higher in the book than in our life.
But, in life, there's no U-turn.
And when you did one simple mistake, when you chose the wrong path,
What is left then?
The what ifs, what if I chose that path over the one I'm walking on?
What if I chose him over this guy I'm spending my life with?
Unlike these book, your story worth so much more.
When you have to decide something big in your life, there will be multiple times of doubt.
When you question everything about life, when you question your God about the obstacle.
When you finally question about God's being in your life.
And this phase is undeniable.
But what matter is the answer you get after a long journey of your doubt.
One of this will happen, your faith is getting stronger, or....
you leave your God because of your own doubt.
So choose wisely.
And if, just if, God allows something bad happen in your life, it's not that much to bear.
Yes, you can cry, you can cry yourself until there's no more tear left.
But, after that, get a hold on yourself.
Be strong.
Stand still.
Why? Because God is holding your hand. Have faith guys, Happy Sunday, wonderful weeks ahead!
He doesn't write my kind of story, like romantic or sweet stories, no. He writes horror. Alright, this doesn't feel right.
But you know what I mean, rite?
My favorite was the fear street series, but that's not what I'm going to write.
There was one series, about Halloween, that allowed us, reader, to choose.
We become the main character.
The first page is about the introduction of the story, and the last sentence of it will be a question. Which one do you choose?
And you must choose wisely. If you don't, you die.
But since it's not our life, since I can turn back to the page from which the last question came from, I don't think much.
If I die in the next page, I can always turn over.
But sadly, in real life, when you die, you simply die.
You can't turn over and start new.
And once you choose, well, you must live with it and the consequences for a life time.
It's like our life, you know, this book.
When you were young, the introduction, you get to know the people you live with, the opportunities that lies within, who wants to stand by you and who wants to stab you in the back.
And each time you're getting older, you are given a question. Maybe, you don't die in each question, the stakes are higher in the book than in our life.
But, in life, there's no U-turn.
And when you did one simple mistake, when you chose the wrong path,
What is left then?
The what ifs, what if I chose that path over the one I'm walking on?
What if I chose him over this guy I'm spending my life with?
Unlike these book, your story worth so much more.
When you have to decide something big in your life, there will be multiple times of doubt.
When you question everything about life, when you question your God about the obstacle.
When you finally question about God's being in your life.
And this phase is undeniable.
But what matter is the answer you get after a long journey of your doubt.
One of this will happen, your faith is getting stronger, or....
you leave your God because of your own doubt.
So choose wisely.
And if, just if, God allows something bad happen in your life, it's not that much to bear.
Yes, you can cry, you can cry yourself until there's no more tear left.
But, after that, get a hold on yourself.
Be strong.
Stand still.
Why? Because God is holding your hand. Have faith guys, Happy Sunday, wonderful weeks ahead!
Thursday 16 February 2012
The Ability of Killing
Each one of us have an ability, singing, dancing, making one good photo, organizing, and else.
But don't forget, there is also an ability of killing.
No, not the kind of killing that involves murder or dealing with some drugdealer and those kind of dark thingies.
But killing to achieve your goal.
And lately, I realized that I have this freaking horrible ability.
When I set my goal, I know I have to achieve it, and I really could use any way.
Creepy huh?
And it's not only me.
Look into yourself, we all have this freaking ability
It's like "Get in my way, and I'll kill you,"
And don't be sad. It is one of human nature.
The question is,
when the time comes, when you have to deal with the obstacle that is so hard to endure and when the opportunity to get rid of this has, well, finally arrived...
Would you?
Would you really kill to get what you want?
This is what determines you.
A few times ago I posted a status on Facebook
"It doesn't matter when, or when, or how I do it. After all, dreams have no expiry date"
Now thinking about it, it does matter HOW I do it.
It does matter WITH WHOM I'm doing it.
It does matter for WHO I do that job for.
And it does matter, WHO stick with me and make a good person out of me.
When you have to kill someone innocent to achieve your goal, it can't guarantee a happiness.
It can't guarantee a pleasure knowing that you do the right thing for the right somebody.
When you have to kill someone to get what you want,
in the end, all that is left is regret.
But if you still want to try, go on.
It's your life anyway.
May this post inspire you, in a good way, of course.
Thanks for reading!
But don't forget, there is also an ability of killing.
No, not the kind of killing that involves murder or dealing with some drugdealer and those kind of dark thingies.
But killing to achieve your goal.
And lately, I realized that I have this freaking horrible ability.
When I set my goal, I know I have to achieve it, and I really could use any way.
Creepy huh?
And it's not only me.
Look into yourself, we all have this freaking ability
It's like "Get in my way, and I'll kill you,"
And don't be sad. It is one of human nature.
The question is,
when the time comes, when you have to deal with the obstacle that is so hard to endure and when the opportunity to get rid of this has, well, finally arrived...
Would you?
Would you really kill to get what you want?
This is what determines you.
A few times ago I posted a status on Facebook
"It doesn't matter when, or when, or how I do it. After all, dreams have no expiry date"
Now thinking about it, it does matter HOW I do it.
It does matter WITH WHOM I'm doing it.
It does matter for WHO I do that job for.
And it does matter, WHO stick with me and make a good person out of me.
When you have to kill someone innocent to achieve your goal, it can't guarantee a happiness.
It can't guarantee a pleasure knowing that you do the right thing for the right somebody.
When you have to kill someone to get what you want,
in the end, all that is left is regret.
But if you still want to try, go on.
It's your life anyway.
May this post inspire you, in a good way, of course.
Thanks for reading!
Wednesday 15 February 2012
Happy valentine
It is one of my favorite part from gossip girl. When Georgie, Serena's old friend came along, had a diner with her, and asked "So tell me about dan, what is he like?" And Serena smiled and said"I like the way he look at me,"
Georgie asked, "How?"
And Serena answered "It's like I want to believe in myself,"
This is what makes me hold on to what I am doing now. Staying single.
Why? Because somehow, love is too great to be wasted. I want to experience it myself.
Everytime I feel like I'm alone (actually, most of this lonely feelings is caused by some of my friend that is "taken") and just want to settle with someone that is good, I'm thinking of this.
About how wonderful love is.
I have described love, for more than a million times, in more than a hundred ways.
But still, when you've experience it yourself.
Not even one of my words, my description, my writings, could describe how you feel.
It is one of a kind.
Way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name.
One of Taylor swift's line from the song Hey Stephen, that describe her madly and unconditionally in love phase.
And yes, it is about the way you do everything.
When you notice every little detail about your loved one,
that's love.
And how he make you feel.
It is, well, wonderful.
Happy valentine day, once again!
Georgie asked, "How?"
And Serena answered "It's like I want to believe in myself,"
This is what makes me hold on to what I am doing now. Staying single.
Why? Because somehow, love is too great to be wasted. I want to experience it myself.
Everytime I feel like I'm alone (actually, most of this lonely feelings is caused by some of my friend that is "taken") and just want to settle with someone that is good, I'm thinking of this.
About how wonderful love is.
I have described love, for more than a million times, in more than a hundred ways.
But still, when you've experience it yourself.
Not even one of my words, my description, my writings, could describe how you feel.
It is one of a kind.
Way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name.
One of Taylor swift's line from the song Hey Stephen, that describe her madly and unconditionally in love phase.
And yes, it is about the way you do everything.
When you notice every little detail about your loved one,
that's love.
And how he make you feel.
It is, well, wonderful.
Happy valentine day, once again!
Wednesday 8 February 2012
Everything Love is
Love is patient, Love is kind, It does not rejoice in evil, it isn't boast or rude, and so on. Yes, we all have heard, read this verse for.. I don't know, hundreds of time maybe?
But still.
People need a daily remember about everything love is.
Because now, I see love somehow don't get really involved in a relationship.
Sometimes the fear of being alone take over its place and leave 2 person in an unworthy relationship.
Lucky them if love finally come and turn that unworthy to worthy.
Let's just admit it.
We wonder what would it be like to have someone who cares about us for all time, and as time goes by, we just don't wonder, we want the attention.
But we do need to remember one thing.
Love is about giving and not expecting anything in return.
Love is a verb, so it shall be proven by act not by words.
It is about having someone to care for all time.
It's not only about him that is way too patient to deal with your ups and downs.
It is also about you.
How you deal with him through his bad time, and how you can sincerely be happy for him when he has something good happening to him.
You want to make a good man out of him and he does feel the same.
So the conclusion is yes, we need a daily reminder about everything love is.
So start now.
Love yourself, feel good about yourself. Be confident.
And then start by loving each one around you. Respect them as you respect yourself.
I know it is a challenge, so challenge yourself!
Compete with others and you become bitter, compete with yourself, and be better!
Best regards and happy valentine day!
But still.
People need a daily remember about everything love is.
Because now, I see love somehow don't get really involved in a relationship.
Sometimes the fear of being alone take over its place and leave 2 person in an unworthy relationship.
Lucky them if love finally come and turn that unworthy to worthy.
Let's just admit it.
We wonder what would it be like to have someone who cares about us for all time, and as time goes by, we just don't wonder, we want the attention.
But we do need to remember one thing.
Love is about giving and not expecting anything in return.
Love is a verb, so it shall be proven by act not by words.
It is about having someone to care for all time.
It's not only about him that is way too patient to deal with your ups and downs.
It is also about you.
How you deal with him through his bad time, and how you can sincerely be happy for him when he has something good happening to him.
You want to make a good man out of him and he does feel the same.
So the conclusion is yes, we need a daily reminder about everything love is.
So start now.
Love yourself, feel good about yourself. Be confident.
And then start by loving each one around you. Respect them as you respect yourself.
I know it is a challenge, so challenge yourself!
Compete with others and you become bitter, compete with yourself, and be better!
Best regards and happy valentine day!
Friday 3 February 2012
An Ever Ever After
I just watched one of disney's movie, Enchanted.
I find one of my favorite line "I don't want to stuff her mind with thinking that dreams do come true," and then Giselle spontaneously said "But they do."
Okay, sometimes in life, we deal with this kind of thing. The what ifs, the if only, the uncertainy of our future.
Yesterday, I witnessed a fortune teller, telling one person to another about how the dragon year would affect their life. Some think that this is just a joke, but still, there are many people believe in his words. It's like their life and death is on his hand. What he's saying will affect their life.
I actually don't believe in such thing.
But when I got home, I wonder how it will be like if he did read my palm.
I only want to hear him say that I'm gonna be a successful woman in the future. Not less or more.
But like life, it is all about uncertainty.
And life doesn't really promise you an ever ever after.
But life sure does offer something. It offers love. Sharing your life with someone.
Maybe, it isn't a happily ever after. Oh please, such thing just simply don't exist. Like the fortune teller. To be honest, I'd like to deal with the uncertainty rather than hearing something I don't want to hear.
Sometimes, what you need to have your own happily ever after state is someone who can tell you that it's ok to break down, it's ok to cry. Someone who'll tell you that dreams do come true.
A little sharing, I did have another chit chat with my big brother. And I told him, I like someone, I like his appearance, I just don't like one of his weakness. And I told him, I am selfish, I don't want to help him grow, yet, I want him to be with me when he matured. Heck what am I? I thought. I am sure, for that good guy, there are plenty girls who will take him as he is and help him grow.
And then I remembered, that love is sincere. And loving someone should be sincere. Rather than being with just anyone who catch your eyes, why not be with someone who is willing to catch your heart?
An ever ever after does exist, or would you rather believe that it doesn't?
The choice is in your hand people. You make your own happiness, and don't make someone, or anyone be responsible of that. It is your choice to have your own happily ever after.
Enough from me, have a wonderful weekend, fighting!
I find one of my favorite line "I don't want to stuff her mind with thinking that dreams do come true," and then Giselle spontaneously said "But they do."
Okay, sometimes in life, we deal with this kind of thing. The what ifs, the if only, the uncertainy of our future.
Yesterday, I witnessed a fortune teller, telling one person to another about how the dragon year would affect their life. Some think that this is just a joke, but still, there are many people believe in his words. It's like their life and death is on his hand. What he's saying will affect their life.
I actually don't believe in such thing.
But when I got home, I wonder how it will be like if he did read my palm.
I only want to hear him say that I'm gonna be a successful woman in the future. Not less or more.
But like life, it is all about uncertainty.
And life doesn't really promise you an ever ever after.
But life sure does offer something. It offers love. Sharing your life with someone.
Maybe, it isn't a happily ever after. Oh please, such thing just simply don't exist. Like the fortune teller. To be honest, I'd like to deal with the uncertainty rather than hearing something I don't want to hear.
Sometimes, what you need to have your own happily ever after state is someone who can tell you that it's ok to break down, it's ok to cry. Someone who'll tell you that dreams do come true.
A little sharing, I did have another chit chat with my big brother. And I told him, I like someone, I like his appearance, I just don't like one of his weakness. And I told him, I am selfish, I don't want to help him grow, yet, I want him to be with me when he matured. Heck what am I? I thought. I am sure, for that good guy, there are plenty girls who will take him as he is and help him grow.
And then I remembered, that love is sincere. And loving someone should be sincere. Rather than being with just anyone who catch your eyes, why not be with someone who is willing to catch your heart?
An ever ever after does exist, or would you rather believe that it doesn't?
The choice is in your hand people. You make your own happiness, and don't make someone, or anyone be responsible of that. It is your choice to have your own happily ever after.
Enough from me, have a wonderful weekend, fighting!
Tuesday 24 January 2012
Only by His grace
I am sitting in the middle of papers, piles of work, done and undone, important and unimportant, and think, "wow, I have come this far"
I flash back my memories from the past 3 years, how what I am doing now was only a dream.
Back then I was only a dreamer.
I dreamed of having an active blog, I dreamed of being in an event organizer, I dreamed of being, err, useful? hahaha
Well the point is, this was just a dream.
And it is only by His grace, I can come this far.
Without Him, I am nothing.
This post is my thank You note to God, what a wonderful and amazing life He has given to me.
My family, is one of God's greatest gift to me. An amazing dad, a wonderful mother, and well, my handsome brother.
Yes, he's handsome. He deserve a worthy wife later on ;)
And my friends, they are those who always make my day.
Thanks thanks thanks and thanks a lotttttttttt
Only by His grace, I can come this far.
It is only by His grace, truly.
None of what I did makes me come this far.
And the best part is knowing, that whether I'm on top, or in the deepest and darkest phase of my life, He will always be there.
Thank You Lord, for blessing me much more than I deserve.
I flash back my memories from the past 3 years, how what I am doing now was only a dream.
Back then I was only a dreamer.
I dreamed of having an active blog, I dreamed of being in an event organizer, I dreamed of being, err, useful? hahaha
Well the point is, this was just a dream.
And it is only by His grace, I can come this far.
Without Him, I am nothing.
This post is my thank You note to God, what a wonderful and amazing life He has given to me.
My family, is one of God's greatest gift to me. An amazing dad, a wonderful mother, and well, my handsome brother.
Yes, he's handsome. He deserve a worthy wife later on ;)
And my friends, they are those who always make my day.
Thanks thanks thanks and thanks a lotttttttttt
Only by His grace, I can come this far.
It is only by His grace, truly.
None of what I did makes me come this far.
And the best part is knowing, that whether I'm on top, or in the deepest and darkest phase of my life, He will always be there.
Thank You Lord, for blessing me much more than I deserve.
Tuesday 17 January 2012
5 years from now
You know, I did went crazily in love with someone.
And to be honest, it was an one-sided love.
Thanks to facebook, I now able to re-read all my status updates from 2 years ago, and i found one that became an inspiration for this post.
"5 years from now, will this matter?"
Thank God I don't take 5 years to get rid over this!
It will be a total mess!
I remember how messy I was, how his sudden change of mood can affect mine. How everything magically evolves around him. Well who is he?
Yes, so weird. Me myself think that I was a freak. Or maybe I still am? Well whatever.
Now I know how far I've come.
A transformation from an unstable emotion to now.
hahaha how weird, I don't think I'm that good.
And that time, I questioned myself. 5 years from now, will this matter?"
Maybe, my feelings and unstable emotion doesn't.
I don't think it is.
Feelings change, and as time goes by, emotion also transforming.
But what I've learned from him, well, they do.
And it's never been a waste, been crazily falling in love with him.
I also did asked myself, "Would it be better if I haven't met you?"
That time I regret it, why did I ever know him, and, well, all the stuffs that goes around him.
But now, I am so thankful.
If it weren't for him, maybe I will never know how it feels to be crazily in love.
And if it weren't for him, I will be in an meaningless relationship by now.
And I found another one "Everything is beautiful in His time"
Okay, 2 years from that, it is.
But O my, 2 years??
Who would want to wait that long?
But for the record, the lesson is worth the wait. I may say. But who knows that I should wait this long?
People say, you will regret things you didn't do then the things you did. Guess what? They're right! So be brave, fall in love, take chances, do things you didn't dare to do! And enjoy life.
Sorry for some unworthy posts, promise I'll post something better next time.
Stay focus! Be blessed.
And to be honest, it was an one-sided love.
Thanks to facebook, I now able to re-read all my status updates from 2 years ago, and i found one that became an inspiration for this post.
"5 years from now, will this matter?"
Thank God I don't take 5 years to get rid over this!
It will be a total mess!
I remember how messy I was, how his sudden change of mood can affect mine. How everything magically evolves around him. Well who is he?
Yes, so weird. Me myself think that I was a freak. Or maybe I still am? Well whatever.
Now I know how far I've come.
A transformation from an unstable emotion to now.
hahaha how weird, I don't think I'm that good.
And that time, I questioned myself. 5 years from now, will this matter?"
Maybe, my feelings and unstable emotion doesn't.
I don't think it is.
Feelings change, and as time goes by, emotion also transforming.
But what I've learned from him, well, they do.
And it's never been a waste, been crazily falling in love with him.
I also did asked myself, "Would it be better if I haven't met you?"
That time I regret it, why did I ever know him, and, well, all the stuffs that goes around him.
But now, I am so thankful.
If it weren't for him, maybe I will never know how it feels to be crazily in love.
And if it weren't for him, I will be in an meaningless relationship by now.
And I found another one "Everything is beautiful in His time"
Okay, 2 years from that, it is.
But O my, 2 years??
Who would want to wait that long?
But for the record, the lesson is worth the wait. I may say. But who knows that I should wait this long?
People say, you will regret things you didn't do then the things you did. Guess what? They're right! So be brave, fall in love, take chances, do things you didn't dare to do! And enjoy life.
Sorry for some unworthy posts, promise I'll post something better next time.
Stay focus! Be blessed.
Sunday 15 January 2012
Unspoken words, unspoken worlds
I actually copy this title from this link : http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2249603840525.2105735.1261108288&type=1]
You can check it out, for pictures worth more than a thousand words.
Today my friend and I were doing a charity, for grandmothers and grandfathers in a place near my old school.
At first I was excited, I get a lot of things from this, and to be honest, it was nice to be with them, they told us a lot of stories.
But then, this evening, I saw this picture.
And it makes me think, this is the real charity.
To be with those who aren't lucky to be in a clean and good environment, and share something with them.
I often close my eyes to things like this.
There was one time when I was driving with my instructor, we were learning to park in an abandoned face, then he, my instructor spotted an old man bleeding in the corner of the building. And we were like o my God.
We were in the middle of nowhere, with another instructor and his student, and a police who called for an ambulance.
There was nothing else we can do better.
And I didn't do much. I miss that opportunity to help the poor. I am selfish, and I need to work that out.
Often, many of us do things that we want.
And, it's not like I don't like the charity thing I just did, but looking to this pictures, I'm ashamed of myself.
What have I done for them?
Write this posts?
This isn't enough!
Write things, take a picture of them, but then, what?
I just sit still, maybe reply some comments about this, and done.
Maybe, if we care more, well, world won't be this messy.
The old me would say "It's their fault that they have gone to this phase, what have they done when they were young??"
Yes an ugly truth, I am not that kind.
Maybe I should stop writing, and work things out.
Well, what do you think?
You can check it out, for pictures worth more than a thousand words.
Today my friend and I were doing a charity, for grandmothers and grandfathers in a place near my old school.
At first I was excited, I get a lot of things from this, and to be honest, it was nice to be with them, they told us a lot of stories.
But then, this evening, I saw this picture.
And it makes me think, this is the real charity.
To be with those who aren't lucky to be in a clean and good environment, and share something with them.
I often close my eyes to things like this.
There was one time when I was driving with my instructor, we were learning to park in an abandoned face, then he, my instructor spotted an old man bleeding in the corner of the building. And we were like o my God.
We were in the middle of nowhere, with another instructor and his student, and a police who called for an ambulance.
There was nothing else we can do better.
And I didn't do much. I miss that opportunity to help the poor. I am selfish, and I need to work that out.
Often, many of us do things that we want.
And, it's not like I don't like the charity thing I just did, but looking to this pictures, I'm ashamed of myself.
What have I done for them?
Write this posts?
This isn't enough!
Write things, take a picture of them, but then, what?
I just sit still, maybe reply some comments about this, and done.
Maybe, if we care more, well, world won't be this messy.
The old me would say "It's their fault that they have gone to this phase, what have they done when they were young??"
Yes an ugly truth, I am not that kind.
Maybe I should stop writing, and work things out.
Well, what do you think?
Saturday 7 January 2012
Beyond words
Have you ever smell the rain? Feel the breeze of the mountain? Or see a lady bug climbing the leaf?
Many writers have tried to define this.
The smell of the rain, the breeze of the mountain, or maybe, the simplest thing of our mother nature, the sea.
The beautiful wave, the color, the purity of the water.
They use words such as blue, green, freshening, beautiful, and else.
But to someone who have never seen the sea, this words aren't enough.
When they finally get to see one, not even a word the writer used can match that. Because the sea is so beautiful. One of the gift Mother-earth has given to us.
It goes the same as rain forest and the mountain. People use words like the green and amazing view. The wind, the smell of it. But again, I must say, they are all beyond words.
Just like love.
Many writers, have tried to describe love. Through poetry, stories, they have tried to describe the beauty of love in every way possible.
I bet, most of the books you have read is about love.
Me too, through most of my posts have tried to describe love. To define what love is.
But one must experience it themselves to understand it.
The smitten kitten moment, when everything in the world becomes beautiful.
When his smile becomes the most beautiful thing on earth.
When you jump as soon as your phone rings wishing it was him calling.
I can go on and on, pages through pages, but, what is words after all?
You have to experience it yourself to know this feeling.
Be brave to fall in love.
Yes, it's not always a happy ending.
Yes, in love we struggle with a lot of what ifs and if only.
But what is life without some broken hearts?
That is the way for you to appreciate the real one, dear.
My notes for you, whoever reading this,
don't be afraid.
What if it doesn't work? But what if it does? What if he's the one?
Well, if he's not, my bad. Find the right one by being the right one!
Have a blessed weekend guys!
Many writers have tried to define this.
The smell of the rain, the breeze of the mountain, or maybe, the simplest thing of our mother nature, the sea.
The beautiful wave, the color, the purity of the water.
They use words such as blue, green, freshening, beautiful, and else.
But to someone who have never seen the sea, this words aren't enough.
When they finally get to see one, not even a word the writer used can match that. Because the sea is so beautiful. One of the gift Mother-earth has given to us.
It goes the same as rain forest and the mountain. People use words like the green and amazing view. The wind, the smell of it. But again, I must say, they are all beyond words.
Just like love.
Many writers, have tried to describe love. Through poetry, stories, they have tried to describe the beauty of love in every way possible.
I bet, most of the books you have read is about love.
Me too, through most of my posts have tried to describe love. To define what love is.
But one must experience it themselves to understand it.
The smitten kitten moment, when everything in the world becomes beautiful.
When his smile becomes the most beautiful thing on earth.
When you jump as soon as your phone rings wishing it was him calling.
I can go on and on, pages through pages, but, what is words after all?
You have to experience it yourself to know this feeling.
Be brave to fall in love.
Yes, it's not always a happy ending.
Yes, in love we struggle with a lot of what ifs and if only.
But what is life without some broken hearts?
That is the way for you to appreciate the real one, dear.
My notes for you, whoever reading this,
don't be afraid.
What if it doesn't work? But what if it does? What if he's the one?
Well, if he's not, my bad. Find the right one by being the right one!
Have a blessed weekend guys!
Thursday 5 January 2012
Bullying
You know, i was walking down the neighborhood to buy some daily needs,and there she was, my first enemy. She was so evil. She used to say that I'm ugly, I'm worthless, I am no good and such things.
I was only a first grader in my elementary school. And she was in middle school.
She used to step on my feet, hard. And i have to pretend that I don't feel anything. Yup, that hurts.
The she has this evil mother that used to be my course teacher.
Apparently, I really wan't that good, so I need a course teacher.
And like mother like daughter, they were both evil.
She did said I was no good without her and that kind of thing. And I may seem like I don't care, or I may look like I don't understand, but I do. And deep down it hurts. It was the kind of bullying that I can't forget until now.
One day when the vacation was about to start, I asked a permission from my mother to skip class. The evil . teacher used to go to my house everyday. Imagine that, huh? Dealing with some kind of... err, witch? everyday. Well that was really something. And my mom said, okay, i can skip class. So I planned that evening to be out biking with some friends from the neighborhood. But, darn I was too late. She came in early.
So I told my younger brother to go and tell her to leave, that I am not home.
He did. But he was wayy too innocent, so he opened the door to her.
And the drama started. She yelled and yelled and i was remained still, hiding in the bathroom. She yelled "get out of there or I will call your mom!"
And I said "I am not afraid" and she yelled pretty much the same thing over and over until she was exhausted. But then she started to call me "an ungrateful kid and a girl who has no manners" and I think i have lost my mind back then. I called her "an evil witch" and every ghosts that i know (you know, kuntilanak and friends?) and she sobbed, or so I heard.
I managed to stay in the bathroom for 5 hours, or less. Maybe more. I can't recall. I was in 5th grader and that night, is freedom.
The reason I am telling you about this isn't to humiliate my ex-course teacher or my first evil girl. But to warn you. Don't say things that may hurt someone's feeling. You don't know how much it hurts, don't you?
It may lasts for a long time. So stop bullying. Cyber, or not.
Not everyone is as hard as steel. The have a heart. Some are fragile. Some are not.
So be nice.
Have a blessed new year guys.
I was only a first grader in my elementary school. And she was in middle school.
She used to step on my feet, hard. And i have to pretend that I don't feel anything. Yup, that hurts.
The she has this evil mother that used to be my course teacher.
Apparently, I really wan't that good, so I need a course teacher.
And like mother like daughter, they were both evil.
She did said I was no good without her and that kind of thing. And I may seem like I don't care, or I may look like I don't understand, but I do. And deep down it hurts. It was the kind of bullying that I can't forget until now.
One day when the vacation was about to start, I asked a permission from my mother to skip class. The evil . teacher used to go to my house everyday. Imagine that, huh? Dealing with some kind of... err, witch? everyday. Well that was really something. And my mom said, okay, i can skip class. So I planned that evening to be out biking with some friends from the neighborhood. But, darn I was too late. She came in early.
So I told my younger brother to go and tell her to leave, that I am not home.
He did. But he was wayy too innocent, so he opened the door to her.
And the drama started. She yelled and yelled and i was remained still, hiding in the bathroom. She yelled "get out of there or I will call your mom!"
And I said "I am not afraid" and she yelled pretty much the same thing over and over until she was exhausted. But then she started to call me "an ungrateful kid and a girl who has no manners" and I think i have lost my mind back then. I called her "an evil witch" and every ghosts that i know (you know, kuntilanak and friends?) and she sobbed, or so I heard.
I managed to stay in the bathroom for 5 hours, or less. Maybe more. I can't recall. I was in 5th grader and that night, is freedom.
The reason I am telling you about this isn't to humiliate my ex-course teacher or my first evil girl. But to warn you. Don't say things that may hurt someone's feeling. You don't know how much it hurts, don't you?
It may lasts for a long time. So stop bullying. Cyber, or not.
Not everyone is as hard as steel. The have a heart. Some are fragile. Some are not.
So be nice.
Have a blessed new year guys.
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